Friday, February 27, 2009

"How to Deal" in Christchurch

Christchurch is a small place, kinda hard to run away from your problems when there are constant reminders of heartache/angst/aggression wherever you look. I know this all too well, it's hard y'all. Especially at University, was just trying to join some authentic clubs like Young Acts/Pro Life/Classoc/Winesoc but then there are shitty reminders and so I go to class and the super deep lecturer will say something like "everything has a beginning, middle and an end. Especially relationships". Fuck. I've been thinking though, there are probably some pretty sweet escapist options:

1. Commence working out so you are in your prime for sweet scene aggression. Just beat up anybody who has hurt/annoyed you or made you cry. Is it still chill to be a pacifist? Who needs pacifism when you have a pair of these? I AM FOR REAL THESE ARE REAL SHOES FOR SALE AT #1 SHOE WAREHOUSE.

2. Just embrace pop culture and make cool "mainstream" playlists. Has irony gone too far when you are considering going to Summer Jam 2k9? Just want to see Miley Cyrus's bro ~in the flesh~.

Pretty much only listen to this playlist now. Tried to listen to Wavves but it was fucking shit. Just wanna listen to pop music that "gets me" and my sad feelings/bad vibes. "Is this the way it's meant to be, only dreaming that you're missing me, I'm waiting here at home, I go crazy, now you're gone" Now You're Gone - BASSHUNTER. Pretty authentic track of the now.

3. Just take the Neon Sleep route and pretend like jocks don't exist. (Kinda rude, I mean, bros just wanna have fun. Is that so wrong? Just wanna see what it's like outside of shooters/the strip. Since when was variety a crime?)

4. Embrace past hipster trends and wear a gem sweater everyday

Whenever you start to feel sad/angst about shitty things in Christchurch, just grab a gem and powerful vibes/feelings of euphoria will materialize from within. Dazzling vibes. Maybe wear a dreamcatcher as a necklace too? Spiritual people, give me all your advice/tips. WOAH SIDENOTE ALERT HOT GIG THIS WEEKEND HOLY FUCK (not the band, just real actual excited)!!!:

"Whether you're seeking information or inspiration,
inner peace or mental stimulation, or you’re just curious about what's out there, the Body Mind Spirit Festival invites you to revitalise your body, stimulate your mind, and pamper your soul..."

5. Leave the ghetto, move to Merivale. Seriously y'all. Maybe the best thing I have ever done. Nothing but good vibes in Merivale, kindof feeling a bit conflicted though. I don't know whether to embrace my lower class roots and stay true to Woolston or buy a Volkswagen Golf©? I live next door to St Margarets, watch the fancy cars line up down my street and almost gag on the stench of privilege. It's pretty thick y'all. Wish they knew what it was like to eat 6 month old cereal with water and to be told "kids, because we love you so much we don't want you to turn into consumers SO you're not going to get christmas presents this year. Our love is enough". If only love was enough for some people. Multiple loves. Am I being too vague? But yeah, living in Merivale, mostly always good vibes.

Um yeah anyway hope this post wasn't too lame buzz. Haven't written in awhile because things are a bit tricky right now and it's kind of easier to just stay off the internet because you just end up looking at peoples facebooks and it can be pretty heartbreaking if you catch my drift. BTW has anybody seen He's Just Not That Into You THE FILM yet? I saw it yesterday and it was pretty amazing apart from being late and walking into the theatre alone feeling like everybody was watching me fumble my way to my seat thinking "shame, look at that single loser. I bet she is trying to get tips on how to meet men. shame, shame, shame". They're probably right.

In conclusion, run away from your problems using my sweet methods. They work pretty well, trust me. I am living proof. Sorry, should this post have been more scene goss/less self indulgent drivel? Just trying to recover from the loss of Matt Mcauley y'all, can you blame me?

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Matthew McAuley, who has officially removed himself from YrGoldenAge, was a fine writer and a better friend. His singular work for YrGoldenAge has been removed as he had unveiled himself in front of an audience and feared the inevitable backlash.  His restlessly inquiring mind led him into many areas of gossip exploration and his work was characterised by a lightness of touch and a tone of wry amusement. For the past four months he was my friend and a constant source of inspiration.

A handsome, lean man with a fastidious dress sense, Matthew was ready to laugh at the world and himself when the occasion warranted. Yet he could discourse as knowledgeably on hip-hop as he could the relative merits of local hipster bands and gossip. His contribution to this website is undeniable, his presence propelled the blog into new heights of sincerity and signaled a movement away from the rigid gossip that characterized his single piece of writing for this web-blog.

He will be focusing, most probably on his university studies and band, BraiNZ, who are supporting Die!Die!Die! soon. We wish him the very best of luck

Matthew McAuley, 2k8-9, NVR FRGT.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Pretty boring.

This blog used to be pretty funny.

It's getting a bit stale, eh (can't really talk, I posted one blog and then just used this account for all the non-moderated comment perks).

So yeah, I'm out.

Matthew H. McAuley

P.S. Jon/Simone, when are you going to unleash the majesty of all those unpublished drafts??? "Being Daniel Hewitt" blew my mind. And "World of Warble"? WoW is right.
P.P.S. Probably not bloggable. Sorry.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I am a New Zealander. I am "political". These terms aren't mutually exclusive.

Love political cartoons, even when I don't "get it". Haven't really been paying attention to any news, apart from local gossip - the only "real" news. Did John Key get beaten up or something and is Bill English taking over control? Don't watch the news or read anything ever aye, too busy listening to hot new beatz (heard the new "black dice" yet? fucking rad) attending art openings, making my new album, having sex with hot babes that want to feel my authenticity/penis.

I utilise social networking sites now only to express my politics, don't want to "share the Facebook experience" anymore, just want to get really involved in changing the world/new zealand/chch.

Facebook is the best possible medium for political action. It is the only medium. Where were you before Facebook? Probably on Myspace, eagerly awaiting an all pervasive social networking site which can use all yr details and probably sells them to companies as market research. (Maybe) 

I am passionate and proactive about Blackout Political Cause. This law may hurt me. I'm all for Palestine destroying Israel or Zimbabwean independence or whatever, but the fact that I may have to refrain from breaking copyright law really pisses me off. This won't be like the time I bought that rad Palestinian scarf because James Grant wore one in the video for Pop Eats Pop--this time I mean it. I'm so pissed I'm going to change my facebook avatar black.

Q: How will my bros who aren't yet facebook friends with me find me if they can't spell my name properly?

A: They won't. We're making real sacrifices here. Our friend counts may stagnate for the time being.

But as Ghandi said:

"First they ignore your facebook photo, then they ridicule your facebook photo, then they fight your facebook photo, then you win." - Mahatma Ghandi


Important Trends for 2k9, as ascertained from Camp A Low Hum, the underground fashion/band/aesthetic defining festival

Now that this years most important and meaningful festival has faded into repetitive and seemingly never-ending images on social networking site "Facebook", in some desperate attempt to "keep the dream alive", or as anarcissistic urge to justify yr hipster status with yr friends.

(TBH, don't actually know who this hot hipster babe is, but felt I had to protect her identity from web predators with a black bar across her eyes "just in case". Those excited hand gestures highlight the carefree attitude and good vibes that coloured CALH09 in the colours of old photographs

"just want my whole life to look like photos from the fifties, even if it means adjusting them in Adobe Photoshop/Apple iPhoto to make them look more authentic/rad" Jonathan Phillips, new 2k9 photographic mission statement

What this photo fails to address is the long term impact that CALH09 will have on the New Zealand/international indie music scene. While the anonymous hipster smiles a carefree smile and raises her hands in a gesture representing her immediacy, being "lost in the moment", the issues being addressed and challenged by the music of local and international acts/ the sartorial options displayed can, only in hindsight, begin to be understood and utilised in defining our individual responses to being a hipster in CHCH/ NZ.

(authentic facial expression probably expresses how many of you are feeling, where is the fucking gossip, just want to know about J. Chillips' "hot hookup" with "scene celeb" L. L. Watson/ the drug demons that plague entry level hipster Eamonn Mara/ mean street babes.)

Scene Gossip is really bad aye, and can really damage and destroy reputations on the scene/ reinforce stereotypes and create and justify scene violence, the writers of YrGoldenAge only believe in promoting "good vibes" and exciting new music/fashion/alt lifestyle opportunities that can "change lives."

Valuable Lessons of Camp 2k9

1. Widespread and seemingly unironic embrace of "The Edge", (lead guitarist of U2, not the mainstream radio station)

U2 made several surprising cameo performances at this year's leading underground music festival. Clearly hot underground acts Over the Atlantic/So! So! Modern!?/Secret Knives all had, instead of listening like most people, to Mount Eerie/Grouper on repeat, found redemption in U2's signature guitar sound.

Many of the Australians attending camp were a little confused by the wholehearted embrace of delayed arpeggiated guitar riffs:

"who the fuck are these guys? U2?!" some rad australian overheard during the SoSo Modern mainstage performance

"just want more chiming delayed guitar solos from bands, lolz" ironic quote from Jonathan, of Paint Yr Golden Face,

For a comprehensive overview on delay and the edge, for those local bands who really want to improve on their stadium rock show and impress a crowd- (the Klappies, Clap yr Hands Say Riot, B!ng B!ng ?ch!?), this website, A Study of The Edge’s (U2) Guitar Delay might create a sophistication to your band's sound/modern forward focused aesthetic to a band facing the issues of economic recession.

2. Post ironic embrace of the nineties, grunge bands, grunge aesthetic

(photograph by local photographer Christopher J. Andrews, capturing local scene celebrity/ heartthrob Ross the Model's new aesthetic. So many questions, Is dirty hair the new "clean hair"? Are you "into" his facial hair "approach"? Will ross the model define every season's authentic approach to fashion for both male and female hipsters? Will females start growing facial hair? so many unanswered questions )

ouch my face, the stabs, east brunswick all girls choir, dhdfds, wilberforces, mean street were all fucking rad at camp, and were all pretty nineties. I don't know how I felt about it all, I didn't think it was quite time for an "early nineties revival" quite yet, maybe it could be time to cut my hair into a bowl cut and preempt the brit-pop revival. It is probably unfair to pigeonhole bands to their nineties equivalents, but here goes:

  • stabs = nineties vibes, especially the drummer, probably the best/most authentic person at camp

  • east brunswick= vaguely jeff buckley-esque, without the shitty songs and whole drowning thing

Pompinos Magical Blast

  • dhdfds= vaguely early red hot chilli peppers, lead guy probably the best performer in contemporary new zealand music, apart from d."avey tare" woods
  • wilberforces/mean street = sonic youth

But what does this all mean for the average hipster in small town New Zealand? Is Wanganui our Aberdeen, Washington. Does that make Sets our Kurt Cobain. Probably.

It is clear that the early years of the nineties are making a "serious comeback this season." While popular Yr Golden Age sideproject "street flashion" was not seriously documenting the fashion approaches of New Zealand hipsters, (for two main reasons, firstly, Christchurch street fashion is superior, secondly, there were no streets at camp) it became increasingly evident that plaid is going to be "big this season."

However this grunge revival will not be "cut from the same cloth" as the US predecessors of the Seattle "Scene". Although check shirts and dirty hair were evident, in general trousers retained the tightness which has been a defining feature of pursuing an alt approach to fashion in the noughties. More common at camp, as a seasonal look, jeans were carefully cut off just above the knee. Who is defining this particular alternative look? Who suggests that this is the appropriate place to cut off jeans? Is this really a grunge aesthetic, or is everyone too self aware to really achieve an effortless and unaffected approach to fashion?

Pearl Jam = Completely Unaffected/ RAD Aesthetic

For the alt babes approach to grunge, wasn't really paying too much attention, I was more interested in listening to the new music, maybz if Darian was writing the post he could elaborate on some of the details aye, he spend a lot of time with babez at camp. I guess there is only one real example to look up to, she fucked Kurt Cobain (Good Vibes), and Billy Corgan (Probz really regretted the morning after aye)

Courtney Kobain-Love = Something to aspire to.

Hopefully this grunge revival doesn't extend into graphic design, fucking hate David Carson aye. (Although, bro knows how to pull a good pose/sell out/ "change the public face of graphic design"- Newsweek)

3. making really shitty music, but still being really popular

What with the show is the rainbow= average version of yacht/dan deacon, teacups = wannabe fuzzy fuzzmins and bonaparte= adult version of the wiggles : "who wants to bonaparty", it seemed the more mainstream/shit you got, the more popular you were. Bonaparty were seemingly everyones favourite band of Camp 09, it seemed that making the most unimaginative party music is guarenteed to win you fans. Even B?ng B?ng !ch!, seemed edgy in comparison.

Neil fucking Finn playing the main stage?

"not even tim, the "cooler" finn"- some hipster overhead during their set/the biggest event of CAL09 )

Admittedly they did have Elroy Finn playing, he is clearly the "dark horse" of the family, during a Finn family set that was the event of the final night. But it all seemed somewhat incongruous with an underground music festival that had Justice Yeldham on the main stage two nights previously. Oh well, just spent every day post camp listening to my "Recurring Dream: Best of Crowded House" reliving the memories.

"Walking down the room singing Stormy Weather,
at 67 Mount Pleasant street" - from the song "Weather with You" by Neil Finn, OBE, covered by Jimmy Buffett on his album "Take the Weather with You"

This amour de la merde continued throughout the festival, people cheering when maltstream beatz came on during the "baywatch" beach party, serious impassioned defenses of Kings of Leons Albums overheard near tent, 1.00am kareoke versions of metallica. Sometimes it didn't seem like I was at an underground music festival.

3. local scenesters/babez getting wasted and embarassing themselves

Local scene bad-boy Eamonn Marra getting trashed on speed/no doze, Laura Lee Watson, of hot and upcoming Christchurch supergroup Pop! Hits! City!, spending a drunken night with J. Phillips - the biggest "scene hookup" of 2k9? local celebrity/scene elder Fran passing out for twelve hours because of drunkeness? nick robinson being rushed to hospital because of mysterious accident? probably more gossip, but


"Scene Gossip is really bad aye, and can really damage and destroy reputations on the scene/ reinforce stereotypes and create and justify scene violence, the writers of YrGoldenAge only believe in promoting "good vibes" and exciting new music/fashion/alt lifestyle opportunities that can "change lives."


4. local blogger/correspondant darian j. getting highly terrifying

camp highlights- ruby suns, darian krumping? with the holiday with friends lead singer and anything that moved. We could only look on with horrified fascination.

Did I miss any important trends?

Will there by any more photo albums devoted solely to camp experiences?

Is Christchurch the Seattle of the Grunge Revival?

Should I invest in some baggy jeans/flannel, dust off my copy of Pearl Jam 10? Is Opiate by Tool an acceptable grunge album? Is it more authentic to listen to Tad and early grunge, or listen to new underground grunge bands from Leeds like Dinosaur Pile Up/Wonderswan?

Should I write some pop hits with jangly guitar and cultural appropriation/world beatz and headline next years Camp with my two sons?

Now that CALH09 has been covered by YGA, does this mean there is closure? Can I finally be "over" camp? What does the possibility of living without "camp" mean?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Mount Plzzzz Nu D-erection.

"We just dont want to be faggots anymore. Aye."

"We're sick of these faggy grooves. Aye."


Jonahan "Lil-Chill" Chillips, 2k9, Cook Strait.

Africa is was the new black, but now black has overtaken blacks as the new black.


Time to stop being GAY scenesters. Rip yr jeanz. Tease yr hair. FIX YOUR FUCKING FINGERS INTO THIS POSITION!

Mount Plez is leading you into a satanic wonderland with their nu aesthetic.

FARK! Awesome intro.

J. Chillips has recruited two new bros. Genuine bros. Not ironic at all bros.

Kahui type band members = AHEAD OF THE PACK.

Here's a link to the Mongrel Mob's bebo page. CHCH bands (I am looking at you Klappie Klapstars), do a lil networking and get yrself a bro. It's the future. Don't be an antique. Stop being gay. Any band that can't play Nothing Else Matters, isn't worth it. Straight up.

You may have to lose a few members if they aren't hard enough.

HUGE GOSSIP ALERT!!!!!!!!111!!!11!!?!?1&

Fellow bloggers/mt pleasurers are out. One was too much of a pussy. He got hard though

: O

Oh yeah. They eased their break-up pain by easing their "man-wedges" into many sweet babes at Camp A Low Hum. Sweet, sexy, sleeping bag vibez y'all.

"jst wanna get my bone on to heal the torn sinew of my heart. Massively." - Overheard 2k9, @ the family planning building in Wainuia-mastie.

He has now had intercourse more times than any other yrgoldenage blogger. Good shit bro. You'll be number one as long as a certain Mr. Harte doesn't start hittin the blog circuit.


NAh it's all gud aye. Heard he's rubbish.


If you were one of the sweet babes who sooth J.C. or Uncle W. over the weekend, send me a g-mail and I'll send you a sweet "I got jacked in by a YRGOLDENAGE blogger" t-shirt. CHOICE!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Mark "Darkwave" Enright 


 Jonathan "Ice Man" Chillips

"Jonathan sent me some of his most recent demos. And they were beautiful. And then he just does that shit. And it makes me really sad."

"I still think he's a coward."

"oh well, I guess he'll grow up." Mark "Emotional S&M" Roberts, overheard at Mount Pleasant CALH09 performance

All of this was said while Mark was wearing a teeshirt of his own band/musical project, "the enright house" which are signed to the same label that my music, the mount pleasants. I don't think I need to justify the live performance of my band/self to anyone, just like I wouldn't require mark to justify his live performances.

All I want is a fist fight with Mark Roberts.

Physically, i know Dark Horse Roberts could take me in a fight, I only weigh 63 kilograms and can only speculate how much Mark Enright-Roberts weights, probably more than me. While I have developed some muscle from working in a printing factory, I know that my only hope would be to perhaps wear him out. I was a long distance runner for Canterbury in form two and still retain some of the fitness that I had then, I don't drink too much but then neither does he, and don't smoke, he does.

Emotionally, I don't know who is stronger. If you do a comparative analysis of Mount Pleasant songs, including my recent demos, with Enright House songs, both are pretty depressing, I don't know who is more "authentic".

On a professional level, I can't compete with the Enright House,

  • he has 2,796 friends on myspace, the clearest arbiter of popularity, I have 246.
  • while we both have songs about eletra, his one is called elektra (might possibly be about the spin off movie) and mine is "the eletra fanclub", his is really well recorded with professional sounding microphones and protools or something, i use a macbook microphone and garageband
  • he has his own website where he sells his music for real money, I have a blog where I release my music for free
  • his album got positive reviews from real music reviewers, my album got played at paris/texas on cashel street last sunday and got criticised for being "depressing" from shop girl Sophie
  • he is about to set off on a self/trust funded world tour, I won't be

So many locations for a fistfight,

Outside Java on High Street, pretty good place to threaten people

Woolston Workingman's Club, cheap drinks/league on the television/ good vibes all around

Papanui Tavern/outside Papanui Super Liquor, I saw a really good one where the kids got smashed up on the road, stopping traffic. The police didn't come to stop it because "it happens all the time"

Eurest Gondola Restaurant, pretty reminiscent of an action movie type location, envisioning amazing fight scene inside gondolas/on top of a gondola, or just inside the "time tunnel", probably need to make a pilgrimage back to the top tourist destination on the port hills, if you exclude the homes of both d. woods and j. chillips, Anyway, gondola, thanks for the memories.

Bird Room of the Canterbury Museum, pretty Hitchcockian circa Vertigo/The Birds, not many good fight scenes in those movies, but pretty good movies, well at least Vertigo is. Its a good place to get me in the zone to fighting the enright house singular. Probably couldn't take him and the other guy that works at the rock shop and doesn't know that much about samplers, "thanks for the help though".

"just want to be as immature as possible with my music aye, especially the live performance aye, because one day I will grow up, never want to grow up aye" J. Chillips, circa 2k19

all the same

Mark looked at ashlin, ashlin looked at mark her eyes were filled with tears. Maybe not "filled with tears", she looked like the did that night at andys when jimmy zoom and the beytown grifters played their final show. There was such a feeling of fragility that night, as if a cup could fall out of someones hand and the whole room could collapse in on itself. Ashlin walked past me and it felt like an ending, she sat in the bathroom with two friends and looked so alone.

Mark turned around to James who stood in the corner of the room near the door with his guitar case packed, his composed attire sat awkwardly on a stiff body that wanted to leave more than anything else.

"Don't leave yet." Mark spoke in a quiet reserved voice; he had never wanted to let it come to this.

"I have to go." James picked up his guitar and placed his bicycle helmet on his head. Clicking the straps in place he said, "Don't forget you owe me eighty dollars."

He left the room.

Andy turned away, his dishevelled hair covering his face, covering a single, still tear. A tear still as a frozen droplet on a blade of morning grass. A tear like frost.

What did the Tigertones mean to you?
Who was the better band: Three-Point Turn or Tiger Tones?
What will you do now the tigertones have broken up?
Would the Tigertones have exploded in popularity like Yulia if they had agreed to play on the Good Morning show?
What does the yrgoldenage no. 2 album of year, Tigertones S/T, mean now the band has broken up, will it increase in value as a collectors item?

Assessing the tigertones legacy is a difficult task, as their passing is only a rumour, and their long-term impacts on the christchurch scene and "greater new zealand scene" can only be imagined. However, the necessity to eulogise the band that for a greater part of two years defined the Christchurch Sound and forged probably the most important phase of the Christchurch renaissance is evident so that they aren't forgotten.

Tiger tones are : sitting on a train through a disorientating foreign city in the morning/ disorientating images of a party that is both terrifying and badly rendered on youtube/ slow motion crystal images of young kids playing drums and singing and a solitary bass so alone

Tigertones are terrifyingly white, substrata middle class alienation, all disaffected and self aware, emerging from milky baths / magicians who can conjure musical instruments, costume changes and coloured paper, the real question is who is the illusion for? the audience? or themselves?

Tigertones were a really good band sometimes, and occasionally they weren't.

And now they are gone.