Saturday, May 16, 2009


england is like some kind of beautiful dream, where every day is filled with magic and wonder. I was apprehensive before leaving Christchurch, city of dreams, but I knew as soon as I reached Birmingham's bricked victorian slums that I had reached
"something special."

its not the miserable people that are incapable of smiling.

its not the constant rain and walking around in new "tresspass" anorak, picked out by my grandmother who said it made me look "swave." [sic] it has a detachable hood.

this image is meant to represent the average English spring day, unfortunately I don't have a picture of myself "rambling" in my blue anorak, suffice to say, its pretty sexy. number of babes scored whilst wearing anorak = seven.

its not the fear and racism

it was the kiss cover's night

I didn't realise that anyone even liked Kiss (typeset as KISS), to be honest. I thought they existed as some kind of joke that they have successfully played on the music scene that still serves to earn them considerable sums of money, kind of like "dem Klappies". Although even the Klap don't earn as much as Kiss(typeset as KISS). And certainly not the non-lead-singer members of aforementioned CHCH band.

according to wikipedia, the only reliable information source,

The resulting Kiss Alive/Worldwide/Lost Cities/Reunion Tour was the top-grossing act of 1996 and 1997.

i don't know waht that means in real money terms, but probably a lot.

Anyway, worldly advice from J. Phillips

"don't go to a KISS covers night, like seriously, don't"

The covers night was filled with the combined mass of Wolverhampton's forty something music elite, with teased dyed blonde hair and spandex for the mostly overweight women and every older rock guy cliche possible.


It must be hard when you are facing middleage and increasingly your lifestyle choices begin to impact on your ability to get an "easy lay." I guess joining together with like-minded females who have made the same decisions and are seemingly stuck in 1986 is the only possible way that these guys can...

FUCK, having real issues, lost my COMEDIC EDGE.


...proceed to, during the "process" of the night, make out horrifically with the eighties post-babes . It was like being caught in the beginning of a sexcapade, like a really bad set up for a pornographic film or something. It felt so seedy. I thought there was nothing seedier than power rock from the seventies performed by middle aged men who paint their face and wear spandex, but in the fans I discovered that there are even deeper bowels of seediness.

My knowledge of KISS consisted of a number of eighties hits. I didn't like any of them. Leaving the concert I still didn't like any KISS songs. It was pretty alarming to be in an audience of people who loved and adored the back catalogue of Kiss. It was encouraging to find people so passionate about something so wrong. I felt a brief tenderness towards these sweaty delusional beasts rampaging to "Psycho Circus." If they could, for a night, ignore the pallid versions of these expendable songs, ignore the plasticky beer taste from the jugs, ignore their problems at home, then maybe other people, not just Kiss fans could ignore the not-so-awesome aspects of life for a night.

I thought England was going to be nothing but violence and drugs, racism and hot beats. As it is, England is everything but the hot beats.

other KISS news

PAUL "STARMAN?" STANLEY LIVE IN WELLINGTON, why did I ever leave New Zealand?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Proof that scene-ness/cool-ness has moved to Auckland.

Stop being dumb Christchurch. Follow the lead of lead blogger and leading man J. Phillips. Leave your flat and the flat. Move yourself into some big smoke.

Follow the GATZ

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

It was lonely for an hour or so until upon leaving the national express coachline some man, more recently arrived than I, stopped me.

“Where are we?” he asked helplessly.

I told him. And as I walked on I was lonely no longer. I was a guide, a pathfinder, an original settler. He had casually conferred on me the freedom of the neighborhood.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


Is eating meat "wrong"? Are you a "fag" if you don't eat meat? What about veganism, in the words of David Klein, is it "all or nothing man"?

What are you going to do Eamonn! I am sorry that the "world of warble" blog draft doesn't really exist. Is it ethical to eat a Burger King salad burger?

Is this guy right or wrong?

Back to ethical dilemmas:

You would think that as a satirical collaborative website, this blog would have no/a tiny carbon footprint. You'd be wrong. If you only knew about all the car rides that have taken place in order for blogs to happen. Darian's Volkswagen Golf, assuming it is a V8, probably 2 litres plus. And what about Jonathan Phillips flying half across the world, just for repose? Assuming he flew in a Boeing 747, we're pretty much fucked.

"yrgoldenage = totz unethical" - Quote Ross "the poet" Brighton outside Lawcafe. (sidenote alert: best or worst cafe on campus? Personally, I prefer cafe 101, but, you know, so subjective. Cultural preferences are totes relative? I mean, not everybody enjoys a vegetarian samosa or a ham-and-cheese pinwheel...)

Is relaying gossip about people on a website unethical? Can one person suffering mild embarassment be justified if the website has a lot of hits/makes a lot of people happy? Are popular blogs more morally acceptable? Are blogs with few followers and not many hits immoral?

So many questions for the ages. Not really that "philosophical" though so can't really get that deep. I'm just a blogger y'all. I probably have more answers than chickybabes though:

And more answers than this bebo blogger:

But then again, I'm sick of the YGA team all having similar views. Lets shake things up with a new blogger, somebody to really "get you thinking". It could work really well or it could work out really horribly with the blog becoming too "political" and would totz loose touch with the gossip.

Just want to post "funny vids".

OH WELL, better "hit the hay" since I have work in 8 hours. Hate working for "the man", ust wish blogging was way more lucrative. Don't keep yourself awake at night with ethical dilemmas. Just get a Big Mac and relax with your girl/boy and put on a movie.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I imagined every sitcom had the laugh track removed. Where the fake laughter from the programmers desk was, it was replaced by a prosaic silence. I think it would be better that way.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Lawrence Arabia has made a new album, it is called "Chant, Darling." I have listened to said album now ten times fully through. 

Lesson Learnt

Total Time of Album: 36.2 minutes

Amount of Guitar Solo Time on Album: 1.26 minutes

I don't know what Mr. James Milne learnt during his time in London/Port Chalmers/other places cited in press release where he recorded the album, but it clearly wasn't mean guitar solos. 

2 stars out of 5