Tuesday, December 9, 2008

HELP Y'ALL/how am i supposed to pretend that i never want to see you again?

Now that the mystery has been solved as to the mysterious bloggers are...


... I want y'all to trust us, no more golden veil of secrecy! when you see us down at c1/authentic gallery opening/contempy lounge, just want y'all to smile and wave. perhaps do a stop and chat too? let us take some piccys of you and let us ask you about yr fashion/fave christchurch band(or supergroup)? but hey, got another request too. as the only girl blogger, i want yr trust! don't want y'all to think i am just some bitch who stands around with a mean judgemental look on my face. bad body language hrh metz! what kindof sisterhood is she trying to promote?

ugh, don't go to her with all yr problems. come to me. i can help you with all your issues, honestly! don't write into that bitch polly gillespie in womans day with all your problems, she doesn't know anything. she doesn't understand the needs of a hipster living in christchurch, she'll never understand how difficult it is! if i open up, will y'all open up too?

issues that have plagued me lately:

  • just wanting to sleep with each and every member of mount pleasure
  • gambling addiction
  • sexual harassment in the workplace (creepy tony, yr not alt enough for my needz)
  • difficulties in establishing my personal brand in the workplace, hate corporate life. it isn't worth the money. it's totally the worse when some hot hipster babe comes in and they just think i am some boring ho that doesn't "get it" because of my ponytail/pinstripe shirt/pantihose sans keut ladders
  • having to ride around on a bike that is very new (FUCK KONA AND THEIR INAUTHENTIC BIKES) and not a fixed gear. how long until i have no friends?
  • wearing the same cardigan 3 days in a row, even after wearing it whilst swimming in the botanical gardens kiddy pool (at night ~ authentic, highly recommend! just don't let any of yr friends take pix because honestly y'all, who looks good after half a cask)
  • being 20 and still living with my mother, totz norman bates. just wanna live in an apartment on poplar lane
um yeah, so now that you know all of my problems you can:

a) give me some sound advice
b) send me all yr problems/issues/worries about the scene to simone.jade@gmail.com (or since university is over, email me on my webmail! that baby hasn't had any action for weeks! sjg156@canterbury.ac.nz) and i will help you out! if you are a bro then i'm more than certain my fellow bloggers will help you too!

It is just one big melting pot of sister/brotherhood on yrgoldenage. together, we can make things better, real comfortable. don't want any awkward couch sitting. just wanna pose for blurry mirror shots with everybody.


joh said...

i hear(t) you simone, u r a diamond amongst the xy chromosome ruff that is gold'n'age. just thought i shud let you knw that i heard from sum1 that knowz sum1 that lives in apartment in polar lane that it is waaaaaay too noisy and that they can't play authentic alt songs with0ut being distrub'd by the wails of 30yr old drunx woman. seems the scenez is just lying to us all. s0SAD :/
where is the best place to get keut stockingz in chch?
how do i tell a shy altboy i love him without making him cry/write songs about it?

RICHARD said...

from left: geo (?), rob, simone, dave

Jacob said...

My g-tar, makes ya'll totz authentic

James Hurley said...

It's y'all, y'all.

B Cool said...

real confused, aye. soo worried about being stuck in corporate life. what does smart casual mean? should i feel like a sell out for wearing the clothes that mums got for me to 'get a job' for the first week? or am i ungrateful for the hard earned monies that mums spent on my hallensteins slim fitting buisness shirt and casual buisness trousers? felt like a douche yo. i'm not right for this corp. world, the wacky corps are not zany enough and play ultimate frisbie on the parliment lawns when there isnt a customs dept soccer practice going on.

if i read my alternative literature that has no author or title while drinking terrible coffee on my lunch break make me look intellectual, or just a try hard alt?

should i be continuing my personal brand into the workplace? is it ok for me to wear my zany oversized tortoise shell rimmed glasses in the office or will i look like a poser smartie pants?

is it worth trying to impress my fellow employees? we are all so anti-s0cial, but maybe its good so that i dont use up my topical humour during the day and wear myself out before monday/tuesday/wednesday/thursday/friday/saturday night's party.

is this job squandering my creativity? are my 4 1/2 years at art/design school being put to use? can use photoshops.

just tryin to be real.

Jonathan Phillips said...

don't judge the typing mistakes of rad babez, james, we all sometimes make mistakes on the internet= blogging gossip abt a notable scenester and a notable bar, its best to ignore and try and understand the deeper meaning of the posts.

"meaningful, god I am meaningful" - apologies to F. Scott, - actual quote "sophisticated, god I am sophisticated"