with a heavy heart,

I am leaving CHCH, city of dreams. I bought my ticket three months ago. Honestly, like completely sincerely, been spending lots of days lately just walking around inner city CHCH looking at the buildings and people talking to each other in cafes. I felt like an "outsider" or something, there is so much to see in Christchurch I guess if you walk around and start noticing the way the buildings work together and form a "dialogue" with each other, or the way the autumn makes everything look different in the city.

I think CHCH is the best in the Autumn, how about you?

The Klap have made a new video. It is "objectively" shit, well at least the song is. I thought the video was pretty good, "objectively". I am being sincere. I mean I had to skip ahead for bits, and the song had to be muted. But yeah, I like the recording artist Tom Waits, do you? The Klap do too! Maybe you guys can become friends?

Has anyone else noticed that Christchurch has no good bands anymore?

Like serious decline. Like the roman empire, all decadence and hedonism and lead in the aquifers. On the television and in yr newspapers they talk about the recession, I hear a lot of talk about the recession.

There is no recession.

There is only the Klap.

Dying.

thoughts from march

All this free time in Merivale without internet access has left me thinking about a lot of things. Is yrgoldenage dead? Should I have just majored in something "worthwhile" like Geology? Are you that desperate that you're willing to lower your standards that much? Is sitting in the U.S History section of the library an authentic place in which to blog from? Is post irony and new sincerity synonymous? Is Beyonces song "Halo" the best song ever written?

Seriously. So much going on y'all. But lets keep it scene gossipy. OK.

• Should Thunderkitties and Da Klappiez fuse to create a super gang? Does Tim Moore know how to ride a skateboard/can your favourite thunderkitty change his/her life to fit into the Klappiez/Cartel lifestyle, ie becoming interested in: "cocktails, wine, cigars, beautiful women and imported beers". Oh yeah, don't worry guys, incase you were wondering what you can call your new gang, I suggest THUNDERKLAP? Works well, no?

• Do Pig Out still exist? Is Marie Celeste maybe just a trademe model now? Pretty lucrative deal y'all

Actually apparently Pig Out have a new song but not actually listening to it, just focusing on thier new black/white/heather grey/navy blue aesthetic. And Kit Lawrences new hair do'.

Tipz4Kit: Maybz in your hair dye arrangment, you could organise the dye in a more ying yang formation? Embrace a more spiritual 90's mum aesthetic?

• Has Mount Pleasant "gone viral" by showing up on secret file sharing hubs? Will I be banished to computer science nerd hell for posting a screenshot of this? JUST LOVE THE HUB SO BAD <3>

• Did The Bang Echies expose themselves to a whole new audience by playing the Linwood block party? totez meant to go, but was kind of too busy being consumed by the Merivale lifestyle at Merivale Mall buying $14 (a piece) measuring spoons.
  

• Is Eamonn the golden sun that shines bright on all things good?
  

• Is putting a song on a playlist for a hot babe with lyrics like "I'm watching you and all the things you do" a bad idea? Should I try and loose my "deranged intense diva" reputation amongst hot babes?

But seriously, is this blog really dead? Did anybody see our minute mention by Chris Cudby in Real Groovy? omg celebzzz. Where do I go when yrgoldenage is truly dead forever? Do you think stuff.co.nz would hire any of us to write on thier shitty blog section? Sorry g2g y'allz. Academia calls.

xoxoxo

towards an urban poverty

towards an urban poverty.  you may see in yr small towns, some of "our losses", some indications of the death of "our city": it is yr death. this is yrgoldenage, "live it love it". each empty building, vacant lot, is our failure. this recessed city troubles in waking fear, of bottle green violence, of sullen and sallow bodies heaving against each other in brick lined alley holding close "do you love me" she says, "of course i love you" he says. they stare so quietly at each other as if the city can hear their silence, as if the city has become their silence, as if every empty shop building and forgotten golden sign is them and filled with their presence. my golden age is ending, maybe I don't want to leave. just want every street to "become me", so that the streets begin to trace the lines on my hands and body and I am christchurch. maybe we all are. 

more quotable quotes

This isn't actually a "local" quotable quote, does it make it any less "meaningful"?

Probably.

I found it on the most important website on the internet, Pitchforkmedia, in their review of the new U2 album.

Important to note, as a sidenote for yrgoldenage contributor/scene royalty Darian J. Wood's recent topical post on racism, notice Irish rock royalty "The Edge" allowing himself to be photographed with an elderly asian lady.


QUOTE OF 1990, but still pretty relevant today

"You've got to balance being relevant and commenting on something that's happening today with trying to attain timelessness," The Edge, the guitarist, not the NZ Mainstream Radio Station

Pretty important sentiment not just for a platinum selling arena rock band, but also for yrgoldenage and maybe hipsters in the chch/NZ/eastern seaboard of the United States(thanks for reading Universtiy of Mass.)

yrgoldenage new aesthetic?

timelessness?

searching out yoko ono and getting photographed with her? hopefully she is in tokyo between april 9-11?

This next quote was actually quipped a very long time ago, so not only does it hint at handy tips instructing us how to attain timelessness, but probably 'transcends time' itself.

No legacy is so rich as honesty - William Shakespeare

no one reads this shit anyway

This dialogue between yrgoldenage and the Christchurch scene should end, or at least transfigure shit-talking into something helpful. While never intending to abuse our position of modesty and removal from the scene we have nevertheless reached an impasse. While bound to a scene that is noncommittal-largely denying its very existence-and writing in a voice that is mostly not our own, shit-talking for the sake of shit-talking, our writing has become a sort of minor heresy. The unfortunate conjunction of utilizing the gossip that comprises the majority of conversations on the scene in an attempt to alleviate this problem, through recognizing it and publishing it thus invalidating the gossip is ignored. Many choose to see yrgoldenage as a trumped up, bloated selfish act.

While I am in no position to suggest to anyone a course of action that may prove beneficial to the scene (who would follow my suggestions anyway?) I feel obligated to try to create something honest and direct, as these two qualities are currently denied on this website as it is spoken through a voice which is only a small part of my personality, just as the drunken and drugged nights of the new hedonism represent only a part of the scene who are just as emotionally fraught and troubled by their failures and mistakes as we all are. How can we take this scene seriously enough to invest most nights attending gigs and money in dressing appropriately, but not seriously enough to critically analyze ourselves and attempt to improve ourselves and the greater whole?

My suggestions for self-improvement are irrelevant anyway, predicated on a firm-seated belief in authenticity and legitimacy. I sincerely hope that people can do more with their lives.

Positive aspects of Christchurch include

1. A series of well maintained gardens and parks ideal for events in which discussions of art, politics and culture could occur. Furthermore, self-promoted exhibitions and performances could be held within such areas. They currently are not; most events occur within rigidly defined areas such as galleries and bars.
2. A small population in which everyone knows each other, and so events can be organized easily and need minimal promotion.
3. Small groups of people committed to promoting and improving Christchurch, for example Red Panda, the Moores, Okay Jams, Alt Music Christchurch, High Street Project, Physics Room. Such groups should become the central driving force behind making Christchurch a real cultural centre for New Zealand.
4. Well equipped amenities, a public library with free internet, spaces where performances, speeches, and listening parties can occur.
   
5. Positivity. In the 2006 Big Cities report, surveyors concluded 'the majority (87%) of Christchurch residents rated their emotional well-being positively, stating they were either very happy (33%) or happy (54%).'
   

The alternative is walking down Bealey Ave on Friday night. That is what the reality of Christchurch is, boy racer violence. I would prefer to try to alleviate this problem and create something actually meaningful in this city rather than trying to deny it. As it is, by simply wearing clothing purchased from Honour & Obey or perhaps the new World store and drunkenly attending gigs and sullenly standing with arms crossed and offering muted criticism in hushed tones, this scene will remain as dull and staid as Warren and Mahoney's Clarendon Tower.

1984

Feeling really anxious. Sitemeter's world map has revealed that the New Zealand government is watching yrgoldenage, monitoring? Kinda happy I never wrote that post about Steffie Key. It was going to be a good post, not in a "Lolita" way. 

New YrGoldenAge Mission Statement

No more insidious anti government tracts, no more anti John Key propaganda. Just keep it honest and direct, and "for the people".






Is this what we are paying our bureaucrats for, to sit around idly reading blogs?

Are they watching your blog?

Are they watching you?

"How to Deal" in Christchurch

Christchurch is a small place, kinda hard to run away from your problems when there are constant reminders of heartache/angst/aggression wherever you look. I know this all too well, it's hard y'all. Especially at University, was just trying to join some authentic clubs like Young Acts/Pro Life/Classoc/Winesoc but then there are shitty reminders and so I go to class and the super deep lecturer will say something like "everything has a beginning, middle and an end. Especially relationships". Fuck. I've been thinking though, there are probably some pretty sweet escapist options:

1. Commence working out so you are in your prime for sweet scene aggression. Just beat up anybody who has hurt/annoyed you or made you cry. Is it still chill to be a pacifist? Who needs pacifism when you have a pair of these? I AM FOR REAL THESE ARE REAL SHOES FOR SALE AT #1 SHOE WAREHOUSE.

2. Just embrace pop culture and make cool "mainstream" playlists. Has irony gone too far when you are considering going to Summer Jam 2k9? Just want to see Miley Cyrus's bro ~in the flesh~.

Pretty much only listen to this playlist now. Tried to listen to Wavves but it was fucking shit. Just wanna listen to pop music that "gets me" and my sad feelings/bad vibes. "Is this the way it's meant to be, only dreaming that you're missing me, I'm waiting here at home, I go crazy, now you're gone" Now You're Gone - BASSHUNTER. Pretty authentic track of the now.

3. Just take the Neon Sleep route and pretend like jocks don't exist. (Kinda rude, I mean, bros just wanna have fun. Is that so wrong? Just wanna see what it's like outside of shooters/the strip. Since when was variety a crime?)

4. Embrace past hipster trends and wear a gem sweater everyday.

Whenever you start to feel sad/angst about shitty things in Christchurch, just grab a gem and powerful vibes/feelings of euphoria will materialize from within. Dazzling vibes. Maybe wear a dreamcatcher as a necklace too? Spiritual people, give me all your advice/tips. WOAH SIDENOTE ALERT HOT GIG THIS WEEKEND HOLY FUCK (not the band, just real actual excited)!!!:

"Whether you're seeking information or inspiration,

inner peace or mental stimulation, or you’re just curious about what's out there, the Body Mind Spirit Festival invites you to revitalise your body, stimulate your mind, and pamper your soul..."

5. Leave the ghetto, move to Merivale. Seriously y'all. Maybe the best thing I have ever done. Nothing but good vibes in Merivale, kindof feeling a bit conflicted though. I don't know whether to embrace my lower class roots and stay true to Woolston or buy a Volkswagen Golf©? I live next door to St Margarets, watch the fancy cars line up down my street and almost gag on the stench of privilege. It's pretty thick y'all. Wish they knew what it was like to eat 6 month old cereal with water and to be told "kids, because we love you so much we don't want you to turn into consumers SO you're not going to get christmas presents this year. Our love is enough". If only love was enough for some people. Multiple loves. Am I being too vague? But yeah, living in Merivale, mostly always good vibes.

Um yeah anyway hope this post wasn't too lame buzz. Haven't written in awhile because things are a bit tricky right now and it's kind of easier to just stay off the internet because you just end up looking at peoples facebooks and it can be pretty heartbreaking if you catch my drift. BTW has anybody seen He's Just Not That Into You THE FILM yet? I saw it yesterday and it was pretty amazing apart from being late and walking into the theatre alone feeling like everybody was watching me fumble my way to my seat thinking "shame, look at that single loser. I bet she is trying to get tips on how to meet men. shame, shame, shame". They're probably right.

In conclusion, run away from your problems using my sweet methods. They work pretty well, trust me. I am living proof. Sorry, should this post have been more scene goss/less self indulgent drivel? Just trying to recover from the loss of Matt Mcauley y'all, can you blame me?