yrgoldenage

CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY NIGHTS

2009-05-16T04:22:00.000-07:00

england is like some kind of beautiful dream, where every day is filled with magic and wonder. I was apprehensive before leaving Christchurch, city of dreams, but I knew as soon as I reached Birmingham's bricked victorian slums that I had reached
"something special."

its not the miserable people that are incapable of smiling.

its not the constant rain and walking around in new "tresspass" anorak, picked out by my grandmother who said it made me look "swave." [sic] it has a detachable hood.

this image is meant to represent the average English spring day, unfortunately I don't have a picture of myself "rambling" in my blue anorak, suffice to say, its pretty sexy. number of babes scored whilst wearing anorak = seven.

its not the fear and racism

it was the kiss cover's night

I didn't realise that anyone even liked Kiss (typeset as KISS), to be honest. I thought they existed as some kind of joke that they have successfully played on the music scene that still serves to earn them considerable sums of money, kind of like "dem Klappies". Although even the Klap don't earn as much as Kiss(typeset as KISS). And certainly not the non-lead-singer members of aforementioned CHCH band.

according to wikipedia, the only reliable information source,

The resulting Kiss Alive/Worldwide/Lost Cities/Reunion Tour was the top-grossing act of 1996 and 1997.

i don't know waht that means in real money terms, but probably a lot.

Anyway, worldly advice from J. Phillips

"don't go to a KISS covers night, like seriously, don't"

The covers night was filled with the combined mass of Wolverhampton's forty something music elite, with teased dyed blonde hair and spandex for the mostly overweight women and every older rock guy cliche possible.

Sidenote.

It must be hard when you are facing middleage and increasingly your lifestyle choices begin to impact on your ability to get an "easy lay." I guess joining together with like-minded females who have made the same decisions and are seemingly stuck in 1986 is the only possible way that these guys can...

FUCK, having real issues, lost my COMEDIC EDGE.

FUCKCKCKCKCKKC

...proceed to, during the "process" of the night, make out horrifically with the eighties post-babes . It was like being caught in the beginning of a sexcapade, like a really bad set up for a pornographic film or something. It felt so seedy. I thought there was nothing seedier than power rock from the seventies performed by middle aged men who paint their face and wear spandex, but in the fans I discovered that there are even deeper bowels of seediness.

My knowledge of KISS consisted of a number of eighties hits. I didn't like any of them. Leaving the concert I still didn't like any KISS songs. It was pretty alarming to be in an audience of people who loved and adored the back catalogue of Kiss. It was encouraging to find people so passionate about something so wrong. I felt a brief tenderness towards these sweaty delusional beasts rampaging to "Psycho Circus." If they could, for a night, ignore the pallid versions of these expendable songs, ignore the plasticky beer taste from the jugs, ignore their problems at home, then maybe other people, not just Kiss fans could ignore the not-so-awesome aspects of life for a night.

I thought England was going to be nothing but violence and drugs, racism and hot beats. As it is, England is everything but the hot beats.

other KISS news

PAUL "STARMAN?" STANLEY LIVE IN WELLINGTON, why did I ever leave New Zealand?

Let's Get to Know Our Hill

2009-04-21T05:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you're in a room full of people smoking instead of talking your eyes start to redden and hurt. Sometimes when you drive home and lie awake in bed at 4:30am it can make your stomach a bit sick. At times like those I put all my clothes into the washing machine and take a shower and thoroughly scrub myself to get rid of the cigarette smoke and the empty conversation. In the morning I vacuum the carpet and scour my sheets for pubic hairs. I do the dishes. Yet even after these penitent rituals you can still feel a bit grotty. That grottiness is a grottiness that can almost be sweated out, alone or with friends, on a walk on the Port Hills. Not quite, but close to it. We owe it to Harry Ell, the original mastermind behind the Summit Road who hired unemployed workers during the Great Depression to dig the road. Thanks Harry Ell.

The hill isn't just for theatrical songwriters Jonathan Phillips and Dudley Benson to sing songs about. It's also a roosting spot for bona-fide hipsters to hang:

A The Sign of the Kiwi regular

Where can we start? The Port Hills are pretty intimidating, if not intimidating in altitude (300-500m) then certainly intimidating in terms of number of walks. There are literally billions of walks on the Port Hills. A day walking on the Port Hills is pretty much like a game of Russian Roulette where an empty cartridge is a swell view and a full cartridge is an unmemorable day. Avoid the deathly full cartridge by planning your walk carefully and choosing a track suitable to your personality.

Port Hills Walks:

VICTORIA PARK

Only for hardened walkers. This is a pretty scary track. Not only does it pass the scene of the Parker-Hulme murder ... woah, I think the Parker-Hulme murder deserves a section on its own.

THE PARKER-HULME MURDER
Still trying to find this magnificent property. Taylor's Mistake? On the way to Diamond Harbour? Devauchelles?

pauline parker and juliet hulme walk down the track
pauline is sixteen and juliet is fifteen
they stop walking to listen to the bell bird
they stop walking to listen to the litter padding
it's a party, pauline thought
it's like before christmas
pauline's mum, honara, comes around the corner
pauline holds a brick in a stocking
juliet hugs honara and pulls honara's arm back
pauline pushes the brick against honara's skull
juliet pushes the brick against honara's skull
honara's skull cracks
honara still isn't dead
pauline pushes the brick against honara's skull
juliet pushes the brick against honara's skull
honara grounded, not fighting nor moving
the stocking torn, stocking ladders
the sticky stocking's blood and bone and hair
pauline throws the brick into the bush

Another cheerful day in court: This writer likes how Juliet and Pauline are referred to as 'characters'

Anyway, back to the sentence I abruptly cut off without precedent. The Victoria Park track not only passes the scene of this bludgeoning, but contains scary warning signs. The following is a genuine extract from the welcome sign:

Warning Poison
Cholecalciferol
DO NOT touch bait
DO NOT EAT animals from this area
PLEASE ENJOY YOUR VISIT

As long as you don't have begrudging teenage daughters and don't eat the animals you pass along the way, you should be okay. Catch the number 10 or 67 bus.

MOUNT VERNON

The easiest way to get to this gentle valley is to take the 18 bus to Huntsbury. While Mount Vernon doesn't contain much apart from a view, a car park, and a map board, it does link to the Rapaki track and the Crater Rim.

BRIDLE PATH

Still drunk: the only way to walk home from the Wunderbar

Catch the number 28 and get off at the gondola car park. Then it's about three hours to walk over to Lyttelton.

GODLEY HEAD

Totally rad

Godley Head contains military sites, mountain bike tracks and frogs for hunting.

SIGN OF THE BELLBIRD

HALSWELL QUARRY

MYSTERIOUS CASHMERE LAKE

Google Maps exposes a dark circular patch. This indicates a lake that a lady maintains on her property. It's quite impressive. Of course, to view it in person you'll be trespassing. There's a little dinghy for floating on. The lady says that James K Baxter once wrote poems on this dinghy on this hillside lake.

HEY WHERE'S THE GOSSIP

Can yrgoldenage maintain its hits with innocuous posts about hill walks? Probably not. Here's a concise and obscured guide to the gossip that yrgoldenage learnt first-hand over the weekend:

Prominent scenester getting punched
Prominent scenester getting too drunk to get into Goodbye Blue Monday ("HEY I JUST WANT MY JERSEY DO YOU WANT ME TO GET HYPOTHERMIA WALKING HOME!")
Prominent scenester exposing lusty tales of wanderlust
Scene Femme Fatale emerging from Goodbye Blue Monday toilets followed by another girl
Up-and-coming scenester's bulimia (or just too drunk, not sure)

LET'S EMBED OURSELVES IN THE FOLDS OF OUR HERITAGE: SEND ME A TXT AND WE'LL WALK TOGETHER

Proof.

2009-04-21T03:30:00.000-07:00

Proof that scene-ness/cool-ness has moved to Auckland.

Stop being dumb Christchurch. Follow the lead of lead blogger and leading man J. Phillips. Leave your flat and the flat. Move yourself into some big smoke.

Follow the GATZ

2009-04-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

It was lonely for an hour or so until upon leaving the national express coachline some man, more recently arrived than I, stopped me.

“Where are we?” he asked helplessly.

I told him. And as I walked on I was lonely no longer. I was a guide, a pathfinder, an original settler. He had casually conferred on me the freedom of the neighborhood.

ross brighton essays yrgoldenage

2009-04-12T22:39:00.000-07:00

almost two months ago i wrote how i felt at the time about an inanimate object (a room).
what i thought was a satirically cynical, new-sincerity turn of prose turned out to be one of our most controversial posts in recent months. (though not as controversial as the recent showdown between ross and scene poster-designer/capitalism-h8er, jared davidson.) i got a txt which said:

'id like to speak with you' - some guy

yrgoldenjacket: o, farinaceous sagacity eschewing candor!

we were really flattered when local critic/poet/university-of-canterbury-registry-admin-guy, ross brighton, offered to critique our work. ross has an english degree; i don't even have a degree. he's practically trained in analysing stuff like this.

(note the avante-garde rejection of traditional spelling and grammar conventions):

ross: 1 youre asking too much, 2 missing the point (far more kurt vonnegut , it's called "goodby [sic] blue monday and full of his drawings for chrissake)than (i would say pastiche of a pastiche) speakeasy - the whole concept is tongue in cheek - you're taking this shit far too seriously. and it's a business not a vanity project- the idea is to get people to come and spend money, rather than have some elitist hideaway for a select creww [sic] - "and only serve gritty moonshine and play real blues—real blues, mind you: none of this 12-bar covers shit. grimy delta blues and a big black door with a big black doorman who won't let anyone in. yeah, that's a real speakeasy" - how the fuck do you make enough money to pay rent doing that shit?

the review is not a review is [sic] a conceptual critique, reported bitching about said concept, nothing to do with the bar realy [sic] at all, just saying poeples [sic] ideas are shit without looking at them properly. i think at l;east [sic]

darian: thanks for reading the blog. i agree it's not a review really. not at all. maybe i'd call it 'my thoughts when i walked into a bar to go to the toilet'.

i like goodbye blue monday. i think everyone involved has done their best to make a lovely venue. i look forward to seeing bands there.

i was there for about two minutes in total. One minute and forty-five seconds of this was spent in the toilet. so i wrote about fifteen seconds. so of course it was always going to be unbalanced, polemic and silly. i didn't even know what the bar was called when i wrote the post. i don't write with much discretion. usually if i think something i write it.

when i walked into goodbye blue monday for the first time, i didn't know anybody. when i walk into bars and don't know anybody i feel like holden caulfield and i like to use the word 'phoney'. i like the word phoney.

WHY I LIKE THE WORD PHONEY:

1. it sounds funny and outdated

2. i can pretend i'm holden caulfield and jerk off to 'fetishising the outsider'

3. it's a synonym for 'not real'.

goodbye blue monday is 'not a real' speakeasy. i think that's a true statement. it has emotive connotations and of course it can't be a real speakeasy because we'd have to ban alcohol for that to happen and i think everyone who reads me accusing goodbye blue monday as being 'phoney' knows that i know that of course goodbye blue monday is 'not real' and this is a really silly and unproductive adjective but in the context of a silly and unproductive website it makes sense

i think you are giving us huge and unprecedented compliment to think that we kid ourselves that we are 'looking at' ideas 'properly'.

has anyone else read catcher in the rye? are our pop-cultural references too erudite for our readership? is holden caulfield really saudi-arabian? is yrgoldenage racist?

ross: people say crazy shit and take themselves very seriously, especially on the net.

perjorative [sic] ... inevitibly [sic] ... be conflated, his opinions even lend you to imlicily [sic] agree on at least some level

narrative trajectory ... your narrator elaborates ... the final comment i think clinches it ... implies ... doubt, that the bar was
lacking hope prior to this moment.

I'M SORRY GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY - embattled blogger darian james' new-new-sincerity statement issued following local intellectual ross brighton's incisive analysis

this feuding would never have erupted had i instead chosen to write frankly about bar antonio's:

What's happened to you, Oosaka?! Once cheap but yummy, now cheap but cool. - some blogger called spronkey

antonio: still smiling even after mild internet shit-talking

i'm a loner/sorry entertainer

2009-04-11T01:07:00.000-07:00

starting to really relate to hipster poets on the internet.

brandon scott gorrell (top left) says:

kept feeling unsure about whether or not i was going to leave my apt to get coffee

was unable to sarcastically perceive myself

things felt 'not ok' - B.S.G.

i think human beings are designed to feel compelled towards other human beings

this is so that babies are made

and the circle of life/suffering can continue

or something like that

feelin' inspired by the comments left by indian fans at this dragonball z website

I THINK DRAGONBALL Z IS THE BEST SHOW THAT EVER HAVE BEEN MAID. BUT I M NOT SATISFY BY THE LANGUAGE IT IS BEING TELECAST. IT SHOULD BE IN A COMMON LANGUAGE OF INDIA LIKE HINDI OR ENGLISH BUT NOT IN TELUGU OR TAMIL - md viquar ahmed siddiqui

i know that these impulses are just an evolutionarily acquired trait or something, but i can't help it. sometimes it's like i'm being pulled by a string, you know.

I LIKE GOKU,VEGITA,TRUNKS,PICLO BUT GOHAN IS THE BEST.IT IS PROVED WHEN HE EVOLVED TO SUPER SAYAIN's NEXT LEVEL WHITOUT REDUCING HIS SPEED LIKE TRUNKS. - parthandshivam

super-sayans are never lonely

ETHICAL DILEMMAS

2009-04-11T00:35:00.000-07:00

Is eating meat "wrong"? Are you a "fag" if you don't eat meat? What about veganism, in the words of David Klein, is it "all or nothing man"?

What are you going to do Eamonn! I am sorry that the "world of warble" blog draft doesn't really exist. Is it ethical to eat a Burger King salad burger?

Is this guy right or wrong?

Back to ethical dilemmas:

You would think that as a satirical collaborative website, this blog would have no/a tiny carbon footprint. You'd be wrong. If you only knew about all the car rides that have taken place in order for blogs to happen. Darian's Volkswagen Golf, assuming it is a V8, probably 2 litres plus. And what about Jonathan Phillips flying half across the world, just for repose? Assuming he flew in a Boeing 747, we're pretty much fucked.

"yrgoldenage = totz unethical" - Quote Ross "the poet" Brighton outside Lawcafe. (sidenote alert: best or worst cafe on campus? Personally, I prefer cafe 101, but, you know, so subjective. Cultural preferences are totes relative? I mean, not everybody enjoys a vegetarian samosa or a ham-and-cheese pinwheel...)

Is relaying gossip about people on a website unethical? Can one person suffering mild embarassment be justified if the website has a lot of hits/makes a lot of people happy? Are popular blogs more morally acceptable? Are blogs with few followers and not many hits immoral?

So many questions for the ages. Not really that "philosophical" though so can't really get that deep. I'm just a blogger y'all. I probably have more answers than chickybabes though:

And more answers than this bebo blogger:

But then again, I'm sick of the YGA team all having similar views. Lets shake things up with a new blogger, somebody to really "get you thinking". It could work really well or it could work out really horribly with the blog becoming too "political" and would totz loose touch with the gossip.

Just want to post "funny vids".

OH WELL, better "hit the hay" since I have work in 8 hours. Hate working for "the man", ust wish blogging was way more lucrative. Don't keep yourself awake at night with ethical dilemmas. Just get a Big Mac and relax with your girl/boy and put on a movie.

2009-04-07T22:49:00.000-07:00

I imagined every sitcom had the laugh track removed. Where the fake laughter from the programmers desk was, it was replaced by a prosaic silence. I think it would be better that way.

a leaving present for jonathan phillips

2009-04-05T23:54:00.000-07:00

inspirational/spiritual.

2009-04-02T03:29:00.000-07:00

Lawrence Arabia has made a new album, it is called "Chant, Darling." I have listened to said album now ten times fully through.

Lesson Learnt

Total Time of Album: 36.2 minutes

Amount of Guitar Solo Time on Album: 1.26 minutes

I don't know what Mr. James Milne learnt during his time in London/Port Chalmers/other places cited in press release where he recorded the album, but it clearly wasn't mean guitar solos.

2 stars out of 5

cheese is a kind of meat

2009-03-31T21:57:00.001-07:00

yrgoldenage rivals/divas: ms. peri and ms. spyker spotted at the contemporary lounge

you might know rachel and anna. one time either rachel or anna was wearing blue leggings and she got 'stares on the street' by the 'limited and conservative christchurch public.'

rachel and anna have a blog. it's really quite good. if you click on this wave, you can get to it: ~.

if you can't be bothered clicking on the link, here's a sample. anna talks about the time she went shopping and stood in front of a FUNCAM for yrgoldenage:

i walked intothe shop. i walked over to it to have a look. they didnt have my size. a shop. i saw a really pretty dress hanging on a rack at the back of - Anna Spyker

i keep having a dream that yrgoldenage dies--like pet cats and grandparents, all blogs must die one day--and yrgoldenage's readership flocks to cheese is a kind of meat in place of reading yrgoldenage/'hurting people's feelings vicariously'. i think then everyone 'only critiques constructively' and everyone's a lot happier.

there's also this other blog called internet diary that seriously threatens yrgoldenage in terms of CHCH-hipster-satire. it used to be called internet diary aye, but jams thought the 'aye' was too flippant/wordy/something i forgot. now it's called either WEB LOG or internet diary or a diaryontheinternet. don't let the blog's prosaic layout fool you: jams actually has a degree in design.

wave number II: ~~

jams's blog used to contain carver-esque 'slice o life' tidbits but now he just writes 'today i yawned' every day at 6:00pm. that's so conceptual that i don't even know why he does it!

HYPOTHESIZED CAUSE OF YAWNING NUMBER 6:

A way of displaying (or indicative of) apathy.

jams grant: cultivating mannered apathy/'pretending to feel awkward' next to zany teens/squatting shopkeepers 'playing monkeys'

cheese is a kind of meat
vs.
internet diary (aye)

wordcount/blog frequency:

CIAKOM: 348 - sporadic

ID: 1,088 - punctual

verdict:

jams wins this section due to prolificity and also because he manages to blog at exactly the same time each time he blogs.

birthday:

CIAKOM: january 30, 2009

ID: december 7, 2008

verdict:

in the fickle/temperamental internet age, age counts against you. CIAKOM wins.

readability:

CIAKOM:

Readability Formula	Score	Notes
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease (Wikipedia)	77.30	A higher score indicates easier readability (scores go from 0 to 100).
Average Grade Level	5.34	Excludes Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease score.

ID:

Readability Formula	Score	Notes
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease (Wikipedia)	-1,099.50	A higher score indicates easier readability (scores go from 0 to 100).
Average Grade Level	311.94	Excludes Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease score.

verdict:

jams's blog is apparently really really hard to read. it assumes grade 311.94-level reading which doesn't even exist in real life. that's pretty erudite, jams. so conceptually brilliant that it has a negative readability score? the girls score better with 5-and-a-bit years of education required to read their blog.

hits:

CIAKOM:

CIAKOM has two followers. Anna has 113 profile views and Rachel has 66.

ID:

jams has 230 profile views and no followers.

verdict:

jams wins hits. his layout makes it tricky to 'follow' him. maybe if he hadn't subverted traditional measures of blog-popularity he'd have more followers than CIAKOM. maybe he'd have three or more.

emotional resonance/evocation of 'what it's like to be a 15-to-30-year-old CHCH hipster on the internet':

CIAKOM:

'life' (friday, january 30, 2009) is an ultimately redemptive but dispassionately narrated tale of concrete detail and 'the malevolence of technology'. its restrained use of three-act structure builds and feeds readers' expectations drip by drip and culminates in a mutedly rapturous act of renewal.

I pushed the pressy button and it said 4 minutes but it actually came
straight away..
(rachel knows CHCH public transport's foibles)

ID:

'untitled' (tuesday, march 31, 2009) employs a tetrasylliballic, monosentence-style structure. it's kinda boring.

ultimate verdict:

i think i like cheese is a kind of meat a bit more.

[side-note:
my dad is clicking his fingers to 'also frightened' in the kitchen. has AC become 'part of the gentry'?]

one time i read internet diary and there was what i suspected to be a really sincere sentence that went on for like 8 to 10 lines and i think it was how jams actually felt about talking about his hobbies and he was getting really close to showing some unironic/undetached feeling or something but then he deleted it.

2009-03-25T03:18:00.000-07:00

with a heavy heart,

I am leaving CHCH, city of dreams. I bought my ticket three months ago. Honestly, like completely sincerely, been spending lots of days lately just walking around inner city CHCH looking at the buildings and people talking to each other in cafes. I felt like an "outsider" or something, there is so much to see in Christchurch I guess if you walk around and start noticing the way the buildings work together and form a "dialogue" with each other, or the way the autumn makes everything look different in the city.

I think CHCH is the best in the Autumn, how about you?

The Klap have made a new video. It is "objectively" shit, well at least the song is. I thought the video was pretty good, "objectively". I am being sincere. I mean I had to skip ahead for bits, and the song had to be muted. But yeah, I like the recording artist Tom Waits, do you? The Klap do too! Maybe you guys can become friends?

Has anyone else noticed that Christchurch has no good bands anymore?

Like serious decline. Like the roman empire, all decadence and hedonism and lead in the aquifers. On the television and in yr newspapers they talk about the recession, I hear a lot of talk about the recession.

There is no recession.

There is only the Klap.

Dying.

goodbye, pariah

2009-03-24T18:27:00.000-07:00

Who should we libel next? Two bloggers sacrifice friends for summer amusement.

(Photo: S. Gordon)

Jonathan was reading The Economic History of England. I was reading an Englishman's The History of Economics. Maybe we read some common material. Just as Rosie Trist and Jonathan held that rare and fragile travel-literature connection while waiting for the 21 Ilam bus, it certainly seemed as if something similar occupied Jonathan, Simone and my thoughts for at least a while. Some blankness in our lives existed. Beforehand, I played a Facebook game called Word Challenge for hours at a time. There was that week where Jonathan and I broke up with our girlfriends and Simone broke up with her boyfriend. We then wrote furiously and withheld nothing. We made a decision and waited for the consequences. The consequences were new and mostly fun to deal with. They were challenges, like a maze on the back of a cereal box or pick up sticks where touching the wrong sticks meant losing friends.

We must have both come across Adam Smith. Adam Smith founded economics as we know it, and was also a moral philosopher. Maybe his theory on human behaviour explains at least some of the motivation that drove yrgoldenage. Perhaps the following phrase compelled us to talk shit.

When we contemplate our actions before we act, 'eagerness of passion' - the desire to do things - will bias our judgement. After an action has been taken, on the other hand, the desire not to think badly of ourselves will lead to bias. - Adam Smith, paraphrased by University of Birmingham professor of economic history, Roger E. Backhouse

On November 17, 2008, Jonathan Phillips was called upon to assume full administrative power (head of the yrgoldenage and mount pleasant music) after some 80,000 scenesters issued death threats. In February 2009, he went to Camp A Low Hum to talk peace with other leading hipsters, including Johanna Freeman and Laura Lee Watson. Although failing to talk with label boss Ian Jorgensen in March while visiting Wellington to hold a concert brimming with 'intimacy', Jonathan did have a series of meetings with student journalist Kim Wheatley to talk about deteriorating conditions in Christchurch. 'It doesn’t help that as Christchurch is so small and I am not exactly maintaining any kind of reserve when it comes to who the [blogs] are about or directed to,' he said.

'I don’t think I am too popular in Christchurch.'

His efforts to bring about a peaceful solution to the blogger-scenester conflict were thwarted by ruthlessly back-talking cliques, which ignited a popular uprising and resistance. This resistance movement spread to other parts of the country. On 25 March 2009 the scene capital of Christchurch, Poplar Lane, exploded with the largest demonstration in Christchurch history, calling a reprieve on blogger violence and reaffirming yrgoldenage's independence. The Yrgoldenage National Uprising was brutally crushed by an amalgamation of the ThunderKlap, The Codeine Cats, Food Not Bombs, White Elephant and Red Panda.

'Next time i see you i will punch you in the face.' - Rosie Trist

Jonathan is in hiding, planning to escape to Birmingham where he has been given political asylum. Some 80,000 scene refugees are following J.C. into exile.

thoughts from march

2009-03-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

All this free time in Merivale without internet access has left me thinking about a lot of things. Is yrgoldenage dead? Should I have just majored in something "worthwhile" like Geology? Are you that desperate that you're willing to lower your standards that much? Is sitting in the U.S History section of the library an authentic place in which to blog from? Is post irony and new sincerity synonymous? Is Beyonces song "Halo" the best song ever written?

Seriously. So much going on y'all. But lets keep it scene gossipy. OK.

Should Thunderkitties and Da Klappiez fuse to create a super gang? Does Tim Moore know how to ride a skateboard/can your favourite thunderkitty change his/her life to fit into the Klappiez/Cartel lifestyle, ie becoming interested in: "cocktails, wine, cigars, beautiful women and imported beers". Oh yeah, don't worry guys, incase you were wondering what you can call your new gang, I suggest THUNDERKLAP? Works well, no?

Do Pig Out still exist? Is Marie Celeste maybe just a trademe model now? Pretty lucrative deal y'all

Actually apparently Pig Out have a new song but not actually listening to it, just focusing on thier new black/white/heather grey/navy blue aesthetic. And Kit Lawrences new hair do'.

Tipz4Kit: Maybz in your hair dye arrangment, you could organise the dye in a more ying yang formation? Embrace a more spiritual 90's mum aesthetic?

Has Mount Pleasant "gone viral" by showing up on secret file sharing hubs? Will I be banished to computer science nerd hell for posting a screenshot of this? JUST LOVE THE HUB SO BAD <3>

Did The Bang Echies expose themselves to a whole new audience by playing the Linwood block party? totez meant to go, but was kind of too busy being consumed by the Merivale lifestyle at Merivale Mall buying $14 (a piece) measuring spoons.

Is Eamonn the golden sun that shines bright on all things good?

Is putting a song on a playlist for a hot babe with lyrics like "I'm watching you and all the things you do" a bad idea? Should I try and loose my "deranged intense diva" reputation amongst hot babes?

But seriously, is this blog really dead? Did anybody see our minute mention by Chris Cudby in Real Groovy? omg celebzzz. Where do I go when yrgoldenage is truly dead forever? Do you think stuff.co.nz would hire any of us to write on thier shitty blog section? Sorry g2g y'allz. Academia calls.

xoxoxo

towards an urban poverty

2009-03-07T18:53:00.007-08:00

towards an urban poverty. you may see in yr small towns, some of "our losses", some indications of the death of "our city": it is yr death. this is yrgoldenage, "live it love it". each empty building, vacant lot, is our failure. this recessed city troubles in waking fear, of bottle green violence, of sullen and sallow bodies heaving against each other in brick lined alley holding close "do you love me" she says, "of course i love you" he says. they stare so quietly at each other as if the city can hear their silence, as if the city has become their silence, as if every empty shop building and forgotten golden sign is them and filled with their presence. my golden age is ending, maybe I don't want to leave. just want every street to "become me", so that the streets begin to trace the lines on my hands and body and I am christchurch. maybe we all are.

Haere Mai!

2009-03-02T18:39:00.000-08:00

But most people are friendly/sane I think

I don't know how to write this prettily or succinctly because it wasn't pretty or succinct.

On a bus inside the bus exchange I can't read because sunlight doesn't reach in. A couple, mid-thirties, speak loudly behind me as passengers embark. A man in an automatic wheelchair drives himself on board. While he is getting on, the man behind me says terrible, unhelpful things thinly masked as sympathy.
'He should be shot. Put him out of his misery.'
They sit two seats behind me and traduce the other passengers. His girlfriend laughs at whatever he says. When a boy presses the red button for the bus to stop, a coarse groan is heard down the back. I look at them. Then I try to read my book. We drive around the Riccarton Road roundabout and our view of trees and little plaques naming the trees hardens into hairdressing salons and takeaway shops.
A woman with a baby gets on the bus and the man says indiscreetly, loud enough for her to hear, 'No Asians on the bus.'
I turn behind and look at the man's face and say, 'Could you not say things like that.'
He asks why and I say that it's rude and no one on the bus wants to hear him.
'Freedom of speech,' he says. 'I'm allowed to have an opinion.'
Of course he's allowed an opinion, but . . . I trail off.
He and his girlfriend look right at me looking right at him. He chews a bit.
'Yes, I'm racist. I hate Chinese people.'
I can only come up with a weak and tired reply that, 'We're all people.'
He says, 'You want to settle this, do you?'
I say, 'Yes, I do.'
'You want a scrap?'
'What?'
'A scrap. You want to fight.'
I giggle a bit.
'Of course I don't want to fight to settle the argument.'

Get used to it: the ever-changing demographics of Christchurch

I need to learn how to tear down racists more effectively. I don't think I changed anything by talking to this person. Afterwards, I felt tempted to make some comment about Maori being here before him, et cetera et cetera. But I didn't really want to spark up another mindless dialogue with the man and, besides, I didn't really know where I was going with that smart-arse rhetoric. Next time it will be settled. I will hone my anti-racist verbal scrapping powers.

Also overheard that day in Tower Junction's No. 1 Shoe Warehouse:

'I'm gonna crack you in a minute.' - Mother to son

Clouds everywhere and shop flags trembling. It was going to rain any minute and we were just waiting. Like somebody about to cry and keep crying.

more quotable quotes

2009-03-02T01:16:00.000-08:00

This isn't actually a "local" quotable quote, does it make it any less "meaningful"?

Probably.

I found it on the most important website on the internet, Pitchforkmedia, in their review of the new U2 album.

Important to note, as a sidenote for yrgoldenage contributor/scene royalty Darian J. Wood's recent topical post on racism, notice Irish rock royalty "The Edge" allowing himself to be photographed with an elderly asian lady.

QUOTE OF 1990, but still pretty relevant today

"You've got to balance being relevant and commenting on something that's happening today with trying to attain timelessness," The Edge, the guitarist, not the NZ Mainstream Radio Station

Pretty important sentiment not just for a platinum selling arena rock band, but also for yrgoldenage and maybe hipsters in the chch/NZ/eastern seaboard of the United States(thanks for reading Universtiy of Mass.)

yrgoldenage new aesthetic?

timelessness?

searching out yoko ono and getting photographed with her? hopefully she is in tokyo between april 9-11?

This next quote was actually quipped a very long time ago, so not only does it hint at handy tips instructing us how to attain timelessness, but probably 'transcends time' itself.

No legacy is so rich as honesty - William Shakespeare

no one reads this shit anyway

2009-03-01T13:34:00.000-08:00

This dialogue between yrgoldenage and the Christchurch scene should end, or at least transfigure shit-talking into something helpful. While never intending to abuse our position of modesty and removal from the scene we have nevertheless reached an impasse. While bound to a scene that is noncommittal-largely denying its very existence-and writing in a voice that is mostly not our own, shit-talking for the sake of shit-talking, our writing has become a sort of minor heresy. The unfortunate conjunction of utilizing the gossip that comprises the majority of conversations on the scene in an attempt to alleviate this problem, through recognizing it and publishing it thus invalidating the gossip is ignored. Many choose to see yrgoldenage as a trumped up, bloated selfish act.

While I am in no position to suggest to anyone a course of action that may prove beneficial to the scene (who would follow my suggestions anyway?) I feel obligated to try to create something honest and direct, as these two qualities are currently denied on this website as it is spoken through a voice which is only a small part of my personality, just as the drunken and drugged nights of the new hedonism represent only a part of the scene who are just as emotionally fraught and troubled by their failures and mistakes as we all are. How can we take this scene seriously enough to invest most nights attending gigs and money in dressing appropriately, but not seriously enough to critically analyze ourselves and attempt to improve ourselves and the greater whole?

My suggestions for self-improvement are irrelevant anyway, predicated on a firm-seated belief in authenticity and legitimacy. I sincerely hope that people can do more with their lives.

Positive aspects of Christchurch include

A series of well maintained gardens and parks ideal for events in which discussions of art, politics and culture could occur. Furthermore, self-promoted exhibitions and performances could be held within such areas. They currently are not; most events occur within rigidly defined areas such as galleries and bars.
A small population in which everyone knows each other, and so events can be organized easily and need minimal promotion.
Small groups of people committed to promoting and improving Christchurch, for example Red Panda, the Moores, Okay Jams, Alt Music Christchurch, High Street Project, Physics Room. Such groups should become the central driving force behind making Christchurch a real cultural centre for New Zealand.
Well equipped amenities, a public library with free internet, spaces where performances, speeches, and listening parties can occur.
Positivity. In the 2006 Big Cities report, surveyors concluded 'the majority (87%) of Christchurch residents rated their emotional well-being positively, stating they were either very happy (33%) or happy (54%).'

The alternative is walking down Bealey Ave on Friday night. That is what the reality of Christchurch is, boy racer violence. I would prefer to try to alleviate this problem and create something actually meaningful in this city rather than trying to deny it. As it is, by simply wearing clothing purchased from Honour & Obey or perhaps the new World store and drunkenly attending gigs and sullenly standing with arms crossed and offering muted criticism in hushed tones, this scene will remain as dull and staid as Warren and Mahoney's Clarendon Tower.

1984

2009-03-01T02:01:00.001-08:00

Feeling really anxious. Sitemeter's world map has revealed that the New Zealand government is watching yrgoldenage, monitoring? Kinda happy I never wrote that post about Steffie Key. It was going to be a good post, not in a "Lolita" way.

New YrGoldenAge Mission Statement

No more insidious anti government tracts, no more anti John Key propaganda. Just keep it honest and direct, and "for the people".

Is this what we are paying our bureaucrats for, to sit around idly reading blogs?

Are they watching your blog?

Are they watching you?

"How to Deal" in Christchurch

2009-02-27T00:02:00.000-08:00

Christchurch is a small place, kinda hard to run away from your problems when there are constant reminders of heartache/angst/aggression wherever you look. I know this all too well, it's hard y'all. Especially at University, was just trying to join some authentic clubs like Young Acts/Pro Life/Classoc/Winesoc but then there are shitty reminders and so I go to class and the super deep lecturer will say something like "everything has a beginning, middle and an end. Especially relationships". Fuck. I've been thinking though, there are probably some pretty sweet escapist options:

1. Commence working out so you are in your prime for sweet scene aggression. Just beat up anybody who has hurt/annoyed you or made you cry. Is it still chill to be a pacifist? Who needs pacifism when you have a pair of these? I AM FOR REAL THESE ARE REAL SHOES FOR SALE AT #1 SHOE WAREHOUSE.

2. Just embrace pop culture and make cool "mainstream" playlists. Has irony gone too far when you are considering going to Summer Jam 2k9? Just want to see Miley Cyrus's bro ~in the flesh~.

Pretty much only listen to this playlist now. Tried to listen to Wavves but it was fucking shit. Just wanna listen to pop music that "gets me" and my sad feelings/bad vibes. "Is this the way it's meant to be, only dreaming that you're missing me, I'm waiting here at home, I go crazy, now you're gone" Now You're Gone - BASSHUNTER. Pretty authentic track of the now.

3. Just take the Neon Sleep route and pretend like jocks don't exist. (Kinda rude, I mean, bros just wanna have fun. Is that so wrong? Just wanna see what it's like outside of shooters/the strip. Since when was variety a crime?)

4. Embrace past hipster trends and wear a gem sweater everyday.

Whenever you start to feel sad/angst about shitty things in Christchurch, just grab a gem and powerful vibes/feelings of euphoria will materialize from within. Dazzling vibes. Maybe wear a dreamcatcher as a necklace too? Spiritual people, give me all your advice/tips. WOAH SIDENOTE ALERT HOT GIG THIS WEEKEND HOLY FUCK (not the band, just real actual excited)!!!:

"Whether you're seeking information or inspiration,

inner peace or mental stimulation, or you’re just curious about what's out there, the Body Mind Spirit Festival invites you to revitalise your body, stimulate your mind, and pamper your soul..."

5. Leave the ghetto, move to Merivale. Seriously y'all. Maybe the best thing I have ever done. Nothing but good vibes in Merivale, kindof feeling a bit conflicted though. I don't know whether to embrace my lower class roots and stay true to Woolston or buy a Volkswagen Golf©? I live next door to St Margarets, watch the fancy cars line up down my street and almost gag on the stench of privilege. It's pretty thick y'all. Wish they knew what it was like to eat 6 month old cereal with water and to be told "kids, because we love you so much we don't want you to turn into consumers SO you're not going to get christmas presents this year. Our love is enough". If only love was enough for some people. Multiple loves. Am I being too vague? But yeah, living in Merivale, mostly always good vibes.

Um yeah anyway hope this post wasn't too lame buzz. Haven't written in awhile because things are a bit tricky right now and it's kind of easier to just stay off the internet because you just end up looking at peoples facebooks and it can be pretty heartbreaking if you catch my drift. BTW has anybody seen He's Just Not That Into You THE FILM yet? I saw it yesterday and it was pretty amazing apart from being late and walking into the theatre alone feeling like everybody was watching me fumble my way to my seat thinking "shame, look at that single loser. I bet she is trying to get tips on how to meet men. shame, shame, shame". They're probably right.

In conclusion, run away from your problems using my sweet methods. They work pretty well, trust me. I am living proof. Sorry, should this post have been more scene goss/less self indulgent drivel? Just trying to recover from the loss of Matt Mcauley y'all, can you blame me?

"NVR FORGET"

2009-02-26T14:25:00.000-08:00

Matthew McAuley, who has officially removed himself from YrGoldenAge, was a fine writer and a better friend. His singular work for YrGoldenAge has been removed as he had unveiled himself in front of an audience and feared the inevitable backlash. His restlessly inquiring mind led him into many areas of gossip exploration and his work was characterised by a lightness of touch and a tone of wry amusement. For the past four months he was my friend and a constant source of inspiration.

A handsome, lean man with a fastidious dress sense, Matthew was ready to laugh at the world and himself when the occasion warranted. Yet he could discourse as knowledgeably on hip-hop as he could the relative merits of local hipster bands and gossip. His contribution to this website is undeniable, his presence propelled the blog into new heights of sincerity and signaled a movement away from the rigid gossip that characterized his single piece of writing for this web-blog.

He will be focusing, most probably on his university studies and band, BraiNZ, who are supporting Die!Die!Die! soon. We wish him the very best of luck

Matthew McAuley, 2k8-9, NVR FRGT.

Pretty boring.

2009-02-25T14:50:00.000-08:00

This blog used to be pretty funny.

It's getting a bit stale, eh (can't really talk, I posted one blog and then just used this account for all the non-moderated comment perks).

So yeah, I'm out.

Matthew H. McAuley

P.S. Jon/Simone, when are you going to unleash the majesty of all those unpublished drafts??? "Being Daniel Hewitt" blew my mind. And "World of Warble"? WoW is right.
P.P.S. Probably not bloggable. Sorry.

WHEN WILL WE STOP SINGING THIS SONG AT PARTIES AND ON FACEBOOK CHAT

2009-02-24T00:26:00.000-08:00

9:21pm Lucy

KJHSDKDHFGRTHTYYJH

yumf

9:22pm Darian

pow pow woooooooooo

i don't mean

to seem like i care about

material things

like a social stats

9:23pm Lucy

i just waaant

9:23pm Darian

etc.

4 walls. ... blah blah

9:23pm Lucy

4 MAH GUURLS

HEY!

9:23pm Darian

pop pop WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

9:23pm Lucy

bom bom bom

LIVECHAT singing is better than anything

Quantifying Grid City

2009-02-18T17:28:00.001-08:00

Going out in rain

2009-02-18T12:55:00.000-08:00

Frank Wheeler: We can be happy here

April Wheeler: I hope so, Frank ... I really hope so

- Richard Yates

Some lovely people are doing some lovely things. Various locals have formed a skein of disparately connected facebook groups: OKAY JAMS, High Street Project, ALT MUSIC CHRISTCHURCH etc. etc. which ostensibly appear to be bringing more international acts to Christchurch than before the clubs were created. El Guincho would have flown to Auckland and Wellington anyway. But but we can only speculate whether Pablo and Aleix would have bothered visiting Grid City without these loosely run collectives. Pablo, Aleix and Pablo's girlfriend arrived carrying sports bags full of samplers and D.I.s, exhausted, hungry and shocked to find the sound person had not prepared the stage yet for a sound check half an hour before doors opened. They had traveled a long way to sweat in the blue-lit basement of a student art gallery with ringing ears. Many people jumped and smiled for at least a little while. It was a party.

"In Barcelona we used to play house parties ... this is kinda like that" - Pablo "El Guincho" Díaz-Reixa

(photograph by thebigcity.co.nz 'community-based website' webmaster, Chris Andrews)

Now Dan Deacon and High Places and Gudrun Gut and Tenniscoats and Grouper will play. Will these shows be like a circle-jerking, deja-vu-inducing, cliquey, serial-party party series of inconsequential noise? We can watch these musicians who traveled from far away and pretend that we are also far away, but the trick is to look straight ahead and not sideways. Saturday nights, it's all the same (Holland, 2006). I would love to be able to watch a band and actually experience this rapturous ecstasy that others claim to feel. A visceral stirring just powerful enough to make a show worthy of dubbing 'rad' or something. I would like to believe that music can change things, that a few samples and a dance beat could leave an indelible impression on a person, sending him or her on an 'ultimately life-affirming' and 'meaningful' trajectory. But there is no such thing as meaningful. And I think this is universal truth, not just a quirk of Grid City: wherever we escape to, we'll always be either feeling guilty for abandoning friends and family or wishing we were somewhere else, even if it's just a yearning to be in the same geographic location a week ago when, you swear in hindsight, you were happy for a moment. So. Now that summer has abruptly ended, did it deliver?

"i'm hoping it all works out and the vibe will encourage people to make new bands and make sound cool soundz." - Okay Jams

But first:

A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens

'Hobart is the state capital and most populous city of the Australian island state of Tasmania. Founded in 1803 as a penal colony, it is one of Australia's oldest cities, with a greater area population of 205,566.'

'Christchurch (Māori: Ōtautahi) is the largest city in the South Island of New Zealand, and the country's second-largest urban area. Its population is 368,900.'

"Hobart has twelve, maybe fourteen really good bands" - Jonathon McCarthy, Paint Yr Golden Face

We have Shanon.

"The music you sent me can change people's lives." - Mark Roberts (The Enright House)

Happy February, everyone. I sincerely hope your jobs and art projects and university courses will help you forget to search for meaning. Don't let something as banal as music manipulate you: let the concrete tides of friends, travel, sickness, pregnancy, love and death change your life.

John Givings: Wow. Now you've said it. The hopeless emptiness. Hell, plenty of people are on to the emptiness. . . . Nobody ever said 'hopeless,' though; that's where we'd chicken out. Because maybe it does take a certain amount of guts to see the emptiness, but it takes a whole hell of a lot more to see the hopelessness. And I guess when you do see the hopelessness, that's when there's nothing to do but take off. If you can.
- Richard Yates

2009-02-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

I am a New Zealander. I am "political". These terms aren't mutually exclusive.

Love political cartoons, even when I don't "get it". Haven't really been paying attention to any news, apart from local gossip - the only "real" news. Did John Key get beaten up or something and is Bill English taking over control? Don't watch the news or read anything ever aye, too busy listening to hot new beatz (heard the new "black dice" yet? fucking rad) attending art openings, making my new album, having sex with hot babes that want to feel my authenticity/penis.

I utilise social networking sites now only to express my politics, don't want to "share the Facebook experience" anymore, just want to get really involved in changing the world/new zealand/chch.

Facebook is the best possible medium for political action. It is the only medium. Where were you before Facebook? Probably on Myspace, eagerly awaiting an all pervasive social networking site which can use all yr details and probably sells them to companies as market research. (Maybe)

I am passionate and proactive about Blackout Political Cause. This law may hurt me. I'm all for Palestine destroying Israel or Zimbabwean independence or whatever, but the fact that I may have to refrain from breaking copyright law really pisses me off. This won't be like the time I bought that rad Palestinian scarf because James Grant wore one in the video for Pop Eats Pop--this time I mean it. I'm so pissed I'm going to change my facebook avatar black.

Q: How will my bros who aren't yet facebook friends with me find me if they can't spell my name properly?

A: They won't. We're making real sacrifices here. Our friend counts may stagnate for the time being.

But as Ghandi said:

"First they ignore your facebook photo, then they ridicule your facebook photo, then they fight your facebook photo, then you win." - Mahatma Ghandi

(http://creativefreedom.org.nz/blackout.html).

2009-02-18T06:05:00.001-08:00

Important Trends for 2k9, as ascertained from Camp A Low Hum, the underground fashion/band/aesthetic defining festival

Now that this years most important and meaningful festival has faded into repetitive and seemingly never-ending images on social networking site "Facebook", in some desperate attempt to "keep the dream alive", or as anarcissistic urge to justify yr hipster status with yr friends.

(TBH, don't actually know who this hot hipster babe is, but felt I had to protect her identity from web predators with a black bar across her eyes "just in case". Those excited hand gestures highlight the carefree attitude and good vibes that coloured CALH09 in the colours of old photographs

"just want my whole life to look like photos from the fifties, even if it means adjusting them in Adobe Photoshop/Apple iPhoto to make them look more authentic/rad" Jonathan Phillips, new 2k9 photographic mission statement

What this photo fails to address is the long term impact that CALH09 will have on the New Zealand/international indie music scene. While the anonymous hipster smiles a carefree smile and raises her hands in a gesture representing her immediacy, being "lost in the moment", the issues being addressed and challenged by the music of local and international acts/ the sartorial options displayed can, only in hindsight, begin to be understood and utilised in defining our individual responses to being a hipster in CHCH/ NZ.

(authentic facial expression probably expresses how many of you are feeling, where is the fucking gossip, just want to know about J. Chillips' "hot hookup" with "scene celeb" L. L. Watson/ the drug demons that plague entry level hipster Eamonn Mara/ mean street babes.)

Scene Gossip is really bad aye, and can really damage and destroy reputations on the scene/ reinforce stereotypes and create and justify scene violence, the writers of YrGoldenAge only believe in promoting "good vibes" and exciting new music/fashion/alt lifestyle opportunities that can "change lives."

Valuable Lessons of Camp 2k9

1. Widespread and seemingly unironic embrace of "The Edge", (lead guitarist of U2, not the mainstream radio station)

U2 made several surprising cameo performances at this year's leading underground music festival. Clearly hot underground acts Over the Atlantic/So! So! Modern!?/Secret Knives all had, instead of listening like most people, to Mount Eerie/Grouper on repeat, found redemption in U2's signature guitar sound.

Many of the Australians attending camp were a little confused by the wholehearted embrace of delayed arpeggiated guitar riffs:

"who the fuck are these guys? U2?!" some rad australian overheard during the SoSo Modern mainstage performance

"just want more chiming delayed guitar solos from bands, lolz" ironic quote from Jonathan, of Paint Yr Golden Face,

For a comprehensive overview on delay and the edge, for those local bands who really want to improve on their stadium rock show and impress a crowd- (the Klappies, Clap yr Hands Say Riot, B!ng B!ng ?ch!?), this website, A Study of The Edge’s (U2) Guitar Delay might create a sophistication to your band's sound/modern forward focused aesthetic to a band facing the issues of economic recession.

2. Post ironic embrace of the nineties, grunge bands, grunge aesthetic

(photograph by local photographer Christopher J. Andrews, capturing local scene celebrity/ heartthrob Ross the Model's new aesthetic. So many questions, Is dirty hair the new "clean hair"? Are you "into" his facial hair "approach"? Will ross the model define every season's authentic approach to fashion for both male and female hipsters? Will females start growing facial hair? so many unanswered questions )

ouch my face, the stabs, east brunswick all girls choir, dhdfds, wilberforces, mean street were all fucking rad at camp, and were all pretty nineties. I don't know how I felt about it all, I didn't think it was quite time for an "early nineties revival" quite yet, maybe it could be time to cut my hair into a bowl cut and preempt the brit-pop revival. It is probably unfair to pigeonhole bands to their nineties equivalents, but here goes:

stabs = nineties vibes, especially the drummer, probably the best/most authentic person at camp

east brunswick= vaguely jeff buckley-esque, without the shitty songs and whole drowning thing

Pompinos Magical Blast

dhdfds= vaguely early red hot chilli peppers, lead guy probably the best performer in contemporary new zealand music, apart from d."avey tare" woods
wilberforces/mean street = sonic youth

But what does this all mean for the average hipster in small town New Zealand? Is Wanganui our Aberdeen, Washington. Does that make Sets our Kurt Cobain. Probably.

It is clear that the early years of the nineties are making a "serious comeback this season." While popular Yr Golden Age sideproject "street flashion" was not seriously documenting the fashion approaches of New Zealand hipsters, (for two main reasons, firstly, Christchurch street fashion is superior, secondly, there were no streets at camp) it became increasingly evident that plaid is going to be "big this season."

However this grunge revival will not be "cut from the same cloth" as the US predecessors of the Seattle "Scene". Although check shirts and dirty hair were evident, in general trousers retained the tightness which has been a defining feature of pursuing an alt approach to fashion in the noughties. More common at camp, as a seasonal look, jeans were carefully cut off just above the knee. Who is defining this particular alternative look? Who suggests that this is the appropriate place to cut off jeans? Is this really a grunge aesthetic, or is everyone too self aware to really achieve an effortless and unaffected approach to fashion?

Pearl Jam = Completely Unaffected/ RAD Aesthetic

For the alt babes approach to grunge, wasn't really paying too much attention, I was more interested in listening to the new music, maybz if Darian was writing the post he could elaborate on some of the details aye, he spend a lot of time with babez at camp. I guess there is only one real example to look up to, she fucked Kurt Cobain (Good Vibes), and Billy Corgan (Probz really regretted the morning after aye)

Courtney Kobain-Love = Something to aspire to.

Hopefully this grunge revival doesn't extend into graphic design, fucking hate David Carson aye. (Although, bro knows how to pull a good pose/sell out/ "change the public face of graphic design"- Newsweek)

3. making really shitty music, but still being really popular

What with the show is the rainbow= average version of yacht/dan deacon, teacups = wannabe fuzzy fuzzmins and bonaparte= adult version of the wiggles : "who wants to bonaparty", it seemed the more mainstream/shit you got, the more popular you were. Bonaparty were seemingly everyones favourite band of Camp 09, it seemed that making the most unimaginative party music is guarenteed to win you fans. Even B?ng B?ng !ch!, seemed edgy in comparison.

Neil fucking Finn playing the main stage?

"not even tim, the "cooler" finn"- some hipster overhead during their set/the biggest event of CAL09 )

Admittedly they did have Elroy Finn playing, he is clearly the "dark horse" of the family, during a Finn family set that was the event of the final night. But it all seemed somewhat incongruous with an underground music festival that had Justice Yeldham on the main stage two nights previously. Oh well, just spent every day post camp listening to my "Recurring Dream: Best of Crowded House" reliving the memories.

"Walking down the room singing Stormy Weather,

at 67 Mount Pleasant street" - from the song "Weather with You" by Neil Finn, OBE, covered by Jimmy Buffett on his album "Take the Weather with You"

This amour de la merde continued throughout the festival, people cheering when maltstream beatz came on during the "baywatch" beach party, serious impassioned defenses of Kings of Leons Albums overheard near tent, 1.00am kareoke versions of metallica. Sometimes it didn't seem like I was at an underground music festival.

3. local scenesters/babez getting wasted and embarassing themselves

Local scene bad-boy Eamonn Marra getting trashed on speed/no doze, Laura Lee Watson, of hot and upcoming Christchurch supergroup Pop! Hits! City!, spending a drunken night with J. Phillips - the biggest "scene hookup" of 2k9? local celebrity/scene elder Fran passing out for twelve hours because of drunkeness? nick robinson being rushed to hospital because of mysterious accident? probably more gossip, but

fuck,

"Scene Gossip is really bad aye, and can really damage and destroy reputations on the scene/ reinforce stereotypes and create and justify scene violence, the writers of YrGoldenAge only believe in promoting "good vibes" and exciting new music/fashion/alt lifestyle opportunities that can "change lives."

YRGOLDENAGE PLEDGE FOR 2k9

4. local blogger/correspondant darian j. getting highly terrifying

camp highlights- ruby suns, darian krumping? with the holiday with friends lead singer and anything that moved. We could only look on with horrified fascination.

Did I miss any important trends?

Will there by any more photo albums devoted solely to camp experiences?

Is Christchurch the Seattle of the Grunge Revival?

Should I invest in some baggy jeans/flannel, dust off my copy of Pearl Jam 10? Is Opiate by Tool an acceptable grunge album? Is it more authentic to listen to Tad and early grunge, or listen to new underground grunge bands from Leeds like Dinosaur Pile Up/Wonderswan?

Should I write some pop hits with jangly guitar and cultural appropriation/world beatz and headline next years Camp with my two sons?

Now that CALH09 has been covered by YGA, does this mean there is closure? Can I finally be "over" camp? What does the possibility of living without "camp" mean?

yrgoldenage's first [and only] gig guide

2009-02-11T12:58:00.000-08:00

Thursday 12th February

Aleks and the Ramps; Sly Hats; Pine at the Wunderbar, $7

"The roof is on fire" - Aleks and the Ramps

Aleks and the Ramps is an Architecture in Helsinki covers band dappled with a dash of N'Sync-inspired choreography. Alecks and the Ramps flew to New Zealand from Melbourne to flee the apocalypse. So under the gurgling droplets of overflowing guttering, above the dancing Imperial AT-AT Walkers of the Lyttelton docks, Alecks and the Ramps will blow the recorder among many, many other quirky instruments. Like guitar, and drums and bass. If you want help the burning residents of Victoria but feel helpless and selfish sitting in comfortable, cool Christchurch, give these troubled troubadours seven dollars and call it even.
myspace.com/aleksandtheramps

Sly Hats is Crayon Fields' singer Kamerah Darling. I imagine this music accompanying a television advertisement for washing machines in the late 1950's.
www.myspace.com/slyhatsmusic

Pine we all know. Maybe you sang along to their MOR radio anthems a few years ago. Maybe you're tutored design by a member. Either way, it is highly doubtful that Pine will sound different from the last time you heard them.
myspace.com/pinenz

Very unlikely anybody will actually show up to this gig. Only scene exiles, kids trying to relive their first Camp/juvenile singalong music, and Wunderbar regulars just going in to play pool. We'll be there.

Friday 13th February
East Brunswick All Girls Choir; Drumheller; Darren Hanlon; Minisnap at the Dux de Lux, free [ALSO PLAYING ON MONDAY 16th FEBRUARY AT THE WUNDERBAR WITH MT PLEASANT SOLO]

East Brunswick All Girls Choir aka Smokin' Hot Bitch aka Marcus Hobbs of Clay Gully Court has a mean tremolo. Gillian Welch meets lankhaired drop-out "i pissed in your bed" chic. He'll vomit down your throat and write a waltz-time ballad about it. But probably not; his set contains the same five songs as last time he visited New Zealand.
myspace.com/smokinhotbitchsounds

Drumheller kept us awake at 5am on the last night of camp.

Minisnap is too famous to need words written about them.
myspace.com/minisnap

Darren Hanlon sounds like he has experienced real emotions like yearning and regret and disillusionment and love. It's almost as good as experiencing them first hand.
myspace.com/darrenhanlon

The Show is the Rainbow; Bonaparte; Tiger Tones at Al's Bar, $10

The Show is the Rainbow is a guy singing along to a backing track. He seems bitter towards Bright Eyes, who wrote a song about him. Then The Show is the Rainbow retaliated with a self-glorifying counterattack spit. He comes from far away (America) and will take off his shirt and 'show us how to party' using overhead projectors. The Show is Sort of Like a University Lecture.
myspace.com/theshowistherainbow

Bonaparte probably isn't this band. But that would be rad. Thunder Fingers is an excellent song title.
www.myspace.com/findingbonaparte no?
www.myspace.com/bonapartemty
www.myspace.com/bandabonaparte
www.myspace.com/bonaparte
www.myspace.com/bonapartemuzik
www.myspace.com/bonaparteband
www.myspace.com/bonapartetx
www.myspace.com/bonapartemusica
www.myspace.com/listentobonaparte
www.myspace.com/bonaparteego

Tiger Tones has much material already written about them. Here, here, here, here. And also lots in yrgoldenage classic version before the threats, the legal action, the abrupt friendlessness occurred and we had to delete all 20 of the primordial golden posts. Is this your last chance to see Tiger Tones? (Daniel Hewitt says he's going)
www.myspace.com/thetigertones

El Guincho; As At; Mount Pleasant at SOFA Basement, $15 presales from Real Groovy

El Guincho is rad. In front of a dense cluster of kitsch apartments, palm trees and fireworks, a parrot cocks his head to gaze through sequined eyeballs. This maybe illustrates the El Guincho's sound: he rethinks the bones of mishmash sample-based experimental music. His loops are frisky and contagious with a distinct sense of place—namely, Barcelona. Known to his bros as Pablo Díaz-Reixa, he is the musical cousin of other world-inspired noise prilgrims such as Esau Mwamwaya, Animal Collective and The Ruby Suns. In fact, Ryan McPhun was spotted wailing into a microphone and pressing buttons onstage next to El Guincho earlier last year at the Sónar festival. Alegranza’s songs are lively and brimming with fresh rhythm. However, sometimes Pablo seems to get caught up in his own groove, repeating without any real development. That caveat aside this show will be one of the most interesting—and totally jive—experimental pop gigs of 2009.

As At has a gloriously obscurantist biography already written. I'll just copy and paste Shannon's writing because I don't think I could hope to compete with his splattering of etymological fury.

"ASmAThic Psychedahlia. Blooming hellflower, when that first number drops it catches between the digit, flickering, decimal ate it. Someone will be wheezing, dessicated coconut. and decimated, the sound that was once one at once tends to two, as at drawn and caught, fought hard to bring you back to nought.
AS AT. pre-post postism." - Shannon Almighty

Mount Pleasant just had a four-hour jam in my garage. We came up with a couple of mean riffs amongst a pile of mediocrity.

"Get in my car! Yeah, yeah, yeah!" - Richard Marks
"Piles of mediocrity" - Dave Marshall

Mount Plzzzz Nu D-erection.

2009-02-11T11:56:00.000-08:00

"We just dont want to be faggots anymore. Aye."

"We're sick of these faggy grooves. Aye."

"I JUST WANT TO ROCK! Aye."

Jonahan "Lil-Chill" Chillips, 2k9, Cook Strait.

Africa is was the new black, but now black has overtaken blacks as the new black.

METAL

Time to stop being GAY scenesters. Rip yr jeanz. Tease yr hair. FIX YOUR FUCKING FINGERS INTO THIS POSITION!

Mount Plez is leading you into a satanic wonderland with their nu aesthetic.

FARK! Awesome intro.

J. Chillips has recruited two new bros. Genuine bros. Not ironic at all bros.

Kahui type band members = AHEAD OF THE PACK.

Here's a link to the Mongrel Mob's bebo page. CHCH bands (I am looking at you Klappie Klapstars), do a lil networking and get yrself a bro. It's the future. Don't be an antique. Stop being gay. Any band that can't play Nothing Else Matters, isn't worth it. Straight up.

You may have to lose a few members if they aren't hard enough.

HUGE GOSSIP ALERT!!!!!!!!111!!!11!!?!?1&

Fellow bloggers/mt pleasurers are out. One was too much of a pussy. He got hard though

: O

Oh yeah. They eased their break-up pain by easing their "man-wedges" into many sweet babes at Camp A Low Hum. Sweet, sexy, sleeping bag vibez y'all.

"jst wanna get my bone on to heal the torn sinew of my heart. Massively." - Overheard 2k9, @ the family planning building in Wainuia-mastie.

He has now had intercourse more times than any other yrgoldenage blogger. Good shit bro. You'll be number one as long as a certain Mr. Harte doesn't start hittin the blog circuit.

PLAYA ALERT.

NAh it's all gud aye. Heard he's rubbish.

SPECIAL OFFER.

If you were one of the sweet babes who sooth J.C. or Uncle W. over the weekend, send me a g-mail and I'll send you a sweet "I got jacked in by a YRGOLDENAGE blogger" t-shirt. CHOICE!

INTRA-CHCH BAND/LABEL CONFLICT

2009-02-10T23:25:00.000-08:00

Mark "Darkwave" Enright

vs.

Jonathan "Ice Man" Chillips

"Jonathan sent me some of his most recent demos. And they were beautiful. And then he just does that shit. And it makes me really sad."

"I still think he's a coward."

"oh well, I guess he'll grow up." Mark "Emotional S&M" Roberts, overheard at Mount Pleasant CALH09 performance

All of this was said while Mark was wearing a teeshirt of his own band/musical project, "the enright house" which are signed to the same label that my music, the mount pleasants. I don't think I need to justify the live performance of my band/self to anyone, just like I wouldn't require mark to justify his live performances.

All I want is a fist fight with Mark Roberts.

Physically, i know Dark Horse Roberts could take me in a fight, I only weigh 63 kilograms and can only speculate how much Mark Enright-Roberts weights, probably more than me. While I have developed some muscle from working in a printing factory, I know that my only hope would be to perhaps wear him out. I was a long distance runner for Canterbury in form two and still retain some of the fitness that I had then, I don't drink too much but then neither does he, and don't smoke, he does.

Emotionally, I don't know who is stronger. If you do a comparative analysis of Mount Pleasant songs, including my recent demos, with Enright House songs, both are pretty depressing, I don't know who is more "authentic".

On a professional level, I can't compete with the Enright House,

he has 2,796 friends on myspace, the clearest arbiter of popularity, I have 246.
while we both have songs about eletra, his one is called elektra (might possibly be about the spin off movie) and mine is "the eletra fanclub", his is really well recorded with professional sounding microphones and protools or something, i use a macbook microphone and garageband
he has his own website where he sells his music for real money, I have a blog where I release my music for free
his album got positive reviews from real music reviewers, my album got played at paris/texas on cashel street last sunday and got criticised for being "depressing" from shop girl Sophie
he is about to set off on a self/trust funded world tour, I won't be

So many locations for a fistfight,

Outside Java on High Street, pretty good place to threaten people

Woolston Workingman's Club, cheap drinks/league on the television/ good vibes all around

Papanui Tavern/outside Papanui Super Liquor, I saw a really good one where the kids got smashed up on the road, stopping traffic. The police didn't come to stop it because "it happens all the time"

Eurest Gondola Restaurant, pretty reminiscent of an action movie type location, envisioning amazing fight scene inside gondolas/on top of a gondola, or just inside the "time tunnel", probably need to make a pilgrimage back to the top tourist destination on the port hills, if you exclude the homes of both d. woods and j. chillips, Anyway, gondola, thanks for the memories.

Bird Room of the Canterbury Museum, pretty Hitchcockian circa Vertigo/The Birds, not many good fight scenes in those movies, but pretty good movies, well at least Vertigo is. Its a good place to get me in the zone to fighting the enright house singular. Probably couldn't take him and the other guy that works at the rock shop and doesn't know that much about samplers, "thanks for the help though".

"just want to be as immature as possible with my music aye, especially the live performance aye, because one day I will grow up, never want to grow up aye" J. Chillips, circa 2k19

all the same

2009-02-10T22:54:00.000-08:00

Mark looked at ashlin, ashlin looked at mark her eyes were filled with tears. Maybe not "filled with tears", she looked like the did that night at andys when jimmy zoom and the beytown grifters played their final show. There was such a feeling of fragility that night, as if a cup could fall out of someones hand and the whole room could collapse in on itself. Ashlin walked past me and it felt like an ending, she sat in the bathroom with two friends and looked so alone.

Mark turned around to James who stood in the corner of the room near the door with his guitar case packed, his composed attire sat awkwardly on a stiff body that wanted to leave more than anything else.

"Don't leave yet." Mark spoke in a quiet reserved voice; he had never wanted to let it come to this.

"I have to go." James picked up his guitar and placed his bicycle helmet on his head. Clicking the straps in place he said, "Don't forget you owe me eighty dollars."

He left the room.

Andy turned away, his dishevelled hair covering his face, covering a single, still tear. A tear still as a frozen droplet on a blade of morning grass. A tear like frost.

What did the Tigertones mean to you?
Who was the better band: Three-Point Turn or Tiger Tones?
What will you do now the tigertones have broken up?
Would the Tigertones have exploded in popularity like Yulia if they had agreed to play on the Good Morning show?
What does the yrgoldenage no. 2 album of year, Tigertones S/T, mean now the band has broken up, will it increase in value as a collectors item?

Assessing the tigertones legacy is a difficult task, as their passing is only a rumour, and their long-term impacts on the christchurch scene and "greater new zealand scene" can only be imagined. However, the necessity to eulogise the band that for a greater part of two years defined the Christchurch Sound and forged probably the most important phase of the Christchurch renaissance is evident so that they aren't forgotten.

Tiger tones are : sitting on a train through a disorientating foreign city in the morning/ disorientating images of a party that is both terrifying and badly rendered on youtube/ slow motion crystal images of young kids playing drums and singing and a solitary bass so alone

Tigertones are terrifyingly white, substrata middle class alienation, all disaffected and self aware, emerging from milky baths / magicians who can conjure musical instruments, costume changes and coloured paper, the real question is who is the illusion for? the audience? or themselves?

Tigertones were a really good band sometimes, and occasionally they weren't.

And now they are gone.

The Great Jorgensen

2009-02-09T17:24:00.000-08:00

There was music in the camp ground through the summer nights. In his blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the Scrumpy and the stars. I have been drunk just twice in my life, and the second time was that weekend; so everything that happened has a dim, hazy cast over it, although until after nine o'clock the camp ground was full of cheerful sun.

At the Baywatch party I watched his guests diving from the steel bridge, or taking the sun on the hot grass while inflatable rafts slit the waters of the lagoon, drawing aquaplanes over cataracts of foam. His golf cart became an omnibus, bearing parties to and from the camp site between eleven in the morning and long past midnight. And eight servants, including an extra full-time toilet cleaner, toiled all day with mops and scrubbing-brushes and hammers and garden shears, repairing the ravages of the night before.

There was no beer, and I went with Sam and Craig to buy five twenty-packs of Double Brown at the Wainuiomata Four Square. When I came back the others disappeared, so I sat down discreetly in front of the main stage and listened to a song of The Show is the Rainbow - either it was terrible stuff or the beer distorted things, because it didn't make any sense to me.
Just as Ryan and Amee (after our first drink Ms Robinson and I called each other by our first names) reappeared, company commenced to arrive at the cabin deck.

Sophie was a slender, worldly girl of about twenty, with a limp, sticky bob of mousy hair, a pink cardigan and a complexion powdered milky white. Her eyebrows had been plucked and then drawn on again at a more rakish angle, but the efforts of nature toward the restoration of the old alignment gave a blurred air to her face. She came in with such a proprietary haste, and looked around so possesively at the kitchen fixtures that I wondered if she was staying here. But when I asked her she laughed immoderately, repeated my question aloud, and told me she was camping with two girl friends.

By ten o'clock My Disco has arrived, no thin affair, but a whole stageful of drone-box guitars and bass and drums. The last swimmers have come in from the lagoon now and are dressing in their tents; the cars from Wainuiomata are parked five deep in the car park, and already the stages and trails and cabins are gaudy with primary colours, and hair bobbed in strange new ways, and shawls beyond the dreams of Castile. The lawn is in full swing, and floating rounds of Country wine casks permeate the garden outside, until the air is alive with chatter and laughter, and casual innuendo and introductions forgotten on the spot, and enthusiastic meetings between women who never knew each other's names.

The lights grow brighter as the earth lurches away from the sun, and now Wilberforces are playing yellow cocktail music, and the opera of voices pitches a key higher. Laughter is easier minute by minute, spilled with prodigality, tipped out at a cheerful word. The groups change more swiftly, swell with new arrivals, dissolve and form in the same breath; already there are wanderers, confident girls who weave here and there among the stouter and more stable, become for a sharp, joyous moment the centre of the group, and then, excited with triumph, glide on through the sea-change of faces and voices and colour under the constantly changing light.

Suddenly Liam, Emily and Ryan, in trembling opaque, sieze a Victoria Bitter out of the air, knive their cans in to piercies, dump it down for courage on the deck of the cabin. Sophie moves her hands like Frisco, dances out alone on the canvas platform. The party has begun.

Why the 31st of January was awful

2009-01-31T22:37:00.000-08:00

Normally reserved, famous Christchurch diva wearing revealing ensembles and being really super friendly. Pretty unnerving.
Christchurchs favorite chemist publicly making-out with jetsetting junkie right in front of his (VERY RECENT) ex (ALSO-N**k H****e's ex)
Amazing bro/friend getting snubbed.
The gig screwing up in the first place so we were forced into this party.
Beefy man with tatz and tan making his dessert whilst Mount PLez made it with the mic.
******* punching one Mt PLez member on the Jimmy Zoom dancefloor for having the audacity to try to salvage one final gig for his friends.
Horrible bonfire that got smoke in my eyes. It looked like I was crying, actually, probably was.
Creepy man with glasses sitting on armchair and not moving the whole night. Get moving bro.
Christchurchs latest romance being torn apart due to Wellington commitments. You know, it isn't that hard to transfer universities.
C******y M****n's mysterious absence. Just wanted to get confronted y'all.
Weird super young/probably still in high school girls dancing awkwardly. Sweet scene debuts.
E****a only showing up as we were leaving. Shit. Just want to get to know ya <3
A**x showing up without R**s. Maybe he was working? Whatever the reason, pretty dissapointed.
Uneven floorboards.
N**k H****s celebrity appearance.
B******'s super-affection overdrive, tussling other bloggers' hair like they were puppies. As if she'd never lashed out at one of the embattled bloggers one week earlier outside scary nightclub. Love and hate are emotions very close to one another in the brain. If given the choice, please choose detachment. Love/Hate are outdated emotions.

I think that everybody will agree that last nights party (the actual party, not the creepy party photography website) summed up the entire summer pretty well. University starts again in 3 weeks, I get the feeling the first day back isn't going to be full of any amazing song and dance routines about summer romances:

At least there has been plenty of sweet moral support this summer. Summer of incredible new friendships but not so much for romance. Probably going to spend the rest of the summer being bitter and amazing like my favourite Grease character, Rizzo. only without the unprotected sex/pregnancy. Just her sweet quotes.

Sandy: "He was sort of special"
Rizzo: "There aint no such thing"

Street Flashion 7#: Dave

2009-01-23T20:39:00.001-08:00

I don't know much about Dave. Here are some of the few things I do know:

1. He likes a band called Boredoms
2. He is on the board of High Street Project and sometimes works for SOFA Gallery
3. He once played drums for Bonjour Monsoon. He now plays drums for Mount Pleasant
4. According to Facebook, he is 'In a Relationship'
5. He's a rad bro

If you are holding on to any facts that can help brighten the secretive shadows of Dave, please comment below.

Street Flashion 6#: Girls

2009-01-22T13:04:00.000-08:00

And there they were.
Giggly, coy and cute.
Right outside High Street Project.
Who are their fashion influences?
What are their names?
Do they like Sand Fly Bay?
Or will this be their summer of Of Montreal?
Do these girls belong on this blog?

Street Flashion 5#: Adam & Henry

2009-01-21T14:34:00.000-08:00

December. We both walked trying to forget or trying to forge something new. Under the two-storied blocks lining the Christchurch streets we must have talked about love and hate. I can't remember exactly what we talked about. Bags under his eyes and probably mine. The skin on our skulls ashgrey like the soot-streaked shop walls. Our beleaguered lives were unfolding like some sort of lame allegorical fable to teach us a moral or two. But reckless and belligerent, we spent money on a disposable FUNCAM and tried to have fun. You can have fun like you can have a woman. Fun is slipperier and more prone to evaporation. Our fun was lusty, bruising and temporary. We interviewed Adam and Henry. I photographed the two in the C1 toilets. Unfortunately, accustomed to the whimsy and wastefulness of digital cameras, I failed in my cavalier shooting and only scraped a portion of Adam's head. He looks content. If you still have one, use your imagination for Henry.

Henry Costello, Adam Charles Gosney, 21

Clothes by

Adam: Jacket and jeans by Salvation Army, tee by Tasman Traders, shoes by Kustom

Henry: Hat by Ferrymead $2 Clothing Warehouse, Jacket by Salvation Army, found items from bros

Fashion idols

Adam: C4 music videos

Henry: Dirty hobos, a couple seen on the doorway of Alice's

Favourite band

Adam: The Klap

Henry: Li'l Rufffz

Possible fashion options

Still not sure why Henry doesn't walk around in these threads every day. Bring back "the knife" as a fashion accessory ~fascinator~.

St Flshn 4#: Ernest

2009-01-15T12:21:00.000-08:00

Ernest, ??

Clothing by

Pants from work, bicycle clothing: gifts, shoes by TradeMe

Favourite band

A fulcrum of the Christchurch scene, Ernest digs many bands. He fills the Christchurch Gap with twisting aerobic stabs. Hence, Tiny Paper Daggers may rest (for now) at the top of Ernest's list. With Ernest's charity, Christchurch has grown from the parochial to the metropolitan.

Possible fashion options:

A wacky smile only goes halfway towards expressing your true hauteur. In the age of the "Web-of-Information Super-Highway", geographical isolation is no excuse for not dressing like this:

quotable quotes

2009-01-14T15:44:00.000-08:00

"NAH FUCK YOU, MAN"---------------------Quoth towards Will by That-guy-who-is-often-mistaken-for-Andy-Frost-but-when-you-talk-to-him-rue-yr-mistake/seen-splayed-out-on-dance-floors-pouring-beer-on-the-ground-cos-he's-so-edgy (is he allergic to beer? gluten intolerance is a real thing! just ask eamonn or james from the valderas), real life outside Cartel, Tuesday, 13/1/09, 11:43pm.

Merry feelings when "The Diplomat" mitigated the altercation.

"Look, it's Andy"---------------"Zephyr"

"No, it's not."---------------Darian

"GOOD ON YOUSE FOR BEING DIFFERENT, AYE"--------------pair of skinheads outside Tete a Tete as yrgoldenage passed through Thursday, 24/12/08, 11:43am.

"THIS IS TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR AND I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YR TAKING THE PISS OR NOT. BUT, AWESOME."---------------------Lucy, fb chat, Wednesday, 14/1/09, 11:43pm.

I thought all this scene aggression was left behind us in 2k8. Come on, fellas. We need scene love, not threats and taunts.

Daniel Hewitt and Caitlin have the right idea.

Is it true that Daniel will soon flat with Nick Harte?
Which weekly chores will Nick be responsible for?
Does Nick get along with Caitlin?

NO MORE SCENE AGGRESSION IN 2K9 PLZ!

Street Flashion 3#: T"Neale

2009-01-14T13:47:00.000-08:00

T"Nealle, 19

"JUST REALLY BUMMED ABOUT GETTING INTO AN INTERBANDRIVALRY WITH Die! Die! Die." -------------"=T'neale (not actual quote, but she was thinking this... [in her mind])

"USED TO LIKE THE RUFFFFFFFIANZ. BUT THEY"RE ALL REAL DICKS" ----------T"Neale (actual quote. {as said with her mouth ["that beautiful mouth"--------DJ James Murphy (New York, 12/11/08, 11:00pm in the green room)]})

Clothing by

Shoes by Dunlop. Badge by Tiger Tones by Kit Lawrence in lieu of payment instead of actual payment of real money from a gig at the dux "can i just pay you in badges"-----Kit "don't really like berlin/london/manchester/christchurch/auckland aye" Lawrence, jeans by AMERICA for five dollars (the place, not the brand). SOHOMO t-shirt. Tiki by Air New Zealand circa-1960's.

Fashion idol

N/C.

Favourite band

Didn't say. Will speculate: Bang? Bang? Eche?

"Despite her bashful hayhair atonal trepidation, beauty can be sighted in the form of plateaued reputation as bell-curve-inducer/rest-easy scene casual-ty. Join her Underwater Picaresque Adventure today!" Darian "Pyjama Sartorialist" Woods

Fashion Options

Dont hide behind awkward youth element anti fashion T"neale. Much potential for chrysalis-esque reemergence as a butterfly/moth/sea anemone.

JUST WANT TO GET TO KNOW YA.

Street Flashion 2#

2009-01-12T02:28:00.000-08:00

Lucy, 17

"never had any ostracism because of the way I dress"- Lucy, too young to know the difficulties of being alt in chch

Clothing by

Jeans by Just Jeans, Shoes by Chuck Taylor, Savemart, Sydenham Opshop

Fashion icon

Chefs

Favourite band

Bachelorette

"Lucy came to High Street Project when my band Mt. Pleasant played, for this her work clothes, all tatty and understated, casually thrown together with messy bed hair and ironic use of japanese finger gestures are as warm and inviting as a favourite teeshirt. When we touched she felt like soft cotton." Jonathan "3 for $20 tees at hallensteins aye" Chillips

Fashion Options

Dont change yr fashion Lucy, but probably should invest in this rad teeshirt.

Street Flashion 1#

2009-01-12T00:56:00.000-08:00

JACQUIE, 20

Clothing by

Time and Time Again Opshop, St Martins, Sunglasses by Ray Ban

Fashion idols

Doesn't need any as she is defining her own personal style.

Favourite band

The Klap.

"I love how the colour of her black leggings match the gloomy urban streetscape of inner city Christchurch, it may be summer but black is still the king of colours for hot alt babes "its all white here." Loving her "Wh-ethnic" Chic Bag (White Ethnic)

/ early nineties mother off to town to do some shopping, maybe get the latest tracey chapman record" Simone "J" Gordon

Possible Fashion Options

All of the below

AMEBA :NVR FORGET

2009-01-10T03:18:00.000-08:00

HEY YALL

Special advice post from your favourite christchurch babez LIVE FROM WOOLSTON:

Where the hell did ameba go? Just want to get some authentic low down/Charlie Mans0n threads hey eh. Is there anything so bad about that?

THE RECESSION.
ALSO
AMEBA
THINK ABOUT IT

CRIMEHOUSE NITES

2009-01-08T17:49:00.000-08:00

Oh hey, haven't blogged for ages, just been trying to enjoy the summer/ making music with my band and by myself/ listening to lots of african music because its really good,

( i dont know if you have been to this website, its called Awesome Tapes From Africa, really really good vibez)

Theres so much I am optimistic about like new Valet album/ Lotus Plaza album, moving to Europe, raspberries being in season (seriously, you should go out and get some, like when Strawberries were like properly in season, not like right now, they have kinda lost some of their flavour), driving around the port hills for the huge icecreams in lyttleton for $2, my band, Mt Pleasant, playing Camp A Low Hum ( even though blink/the klap/most people have never heard us?), maybe this summer could be the best thing ever.

Police pull body out of Heathcote River
The Press | Friday, 09 January 2009

Christchurch police have lifted a body out of the Heathcote River.

The body was found in the river near Louisson Place in Opawa, southern Christchurch.
The Fire Service provided a cherry picker to help with the recovery and the body was removed from the river at about 2.20pm.
Neighbours said they had been concerned for some time about drug dealing and prostitution in the area.
Mallory Manning, a Christchurch prostitute, was beaten and dumped in the Avon River on December 18 and her murder remains unsolved.

Wait, wtf. This isnt like ruining my summer or anything, nothing can take away the cool feelings of late afternoon drinks at cartel/ hot pics of laura lees nye on facebook/ being able to walk around in shorts and not being called a fggt (or like only sometimes), but like when people keep getting murdered during this beautiful summer it, i dont know, its pretty horrible.

Maybe its just like a "Woolston thing", you know, with all the "prostitution and drugs" in the area. (WTF! Woolston isn't just drugs and prostitutes... it is pretty depressing though) It is like really terrible that those prostitute murderer/s haven't been found either. I mean it is pretty depressing in christchurch, especially during the winter, and especially in woolston, but not that bad. Pretty thankful that there haven't been any scene murders yet btw, all the talk of scene violence/vengeance and texts on my phone from people made me kinda worried, not really.

I dont know, it makes me kinda confused when someone kills someone when it is so beautiful and it is so perfect right now, I can't see how people would want to kill people anyway, but when it is like 33 degrees or whatever and you could be relaxing under a tree, playing guitar or reading or writing letters to friends or something, drinking bad sav. and enjoying life its, i dont know its too hot to think of something meaningful/important.

"Just want to tackle more serious issues than the creative stasis of the christchurch music scene/apathy of scenesters" Jonathan "Chill"ips' 2k9 Mission Statement

2009-01-06T14:25:00.000-08:00

THE KLAP BAND AESTHETIC + TOPICAL SONG FOR THE NEW YEAR

I WANT TO DO RIGHT BY ALL OUR HEARTS

2009-01-04T02:36:00.000-08:00

Am I the only yrgoldenage blogger left? Or is it just the holiday season that has made the gang disappear? Is this whole amazing blog entirely under my control now? Since it's 2009, perhaps this blog can undergo a whole new direction. Maybz dating advice for all the single Christchurch babez out there. 2008 was a big year for many hearts, it is a new year, time for some new years resolutions: NO MORE SCENE BREAKUPS. Just want true love for everybody. What better way to bring everybody together and inspire all of yr heartz than to use my new found blogging power? I know a lot y'all. Know why?

Because I have read this book five times. Yes, FIVE times. Totz not ashamed to admit it. embracing it y'all. It has some pretty amazing advice, some of my favorite passages are:

"Being lonely, being alone for many people, sucks. I get it, I get it, I "get it". But still I have to say that, yes, my true belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel shitty or doesn't honor the person you are, is worse."

"I know. Every two weeks, once a month, seeing somebody, having a little love and affection may help you get through the day or week or month- but will it help you get through a whole lifetime?"

"No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing."

Shit y'all. So touching. Great book, not as nearly as important to my heart as The Great Gatzby [SIDENOTE ALERT: If Gatsby read "He's Just Not That Into You" would he have pursued Daisy for as long as he did? The book totz recommends ditching babes who are married. Not matter how awful thier spouse is!] but it is still a wee bit important to my heart. Can "He's Just Not That Into You" be an important book to the Christchurch scene? Absolutely not. It is predominantly written for middle aged BIOLOGICAL CLOCK TICKIN women living it up in New York City who, instead of putting t-tonez or o-lovez on thier top albums of '08 don't even have any to albums to put because they only listen to old jazz or something. UGH! Slutz.

What we all need is the "S/He's Just Not That Into You: CHRISTCHURCH EDITION"

Get it. Love it.

With such a small pool of babez in Christchurch who "get it", we have probably all found ourselves at some stage in our lives where we have had to settle for company of somebody who just isn't quite perfect. I mean, they're still amazing but there is a big chunk of their personality/style/face that just is not quite right and that you wish you could trade in. "He's Just Not That Into You" seems pretty adamant that you need to GET RID OF EM if there is something slightly wrong with them. Well, that's all good if you live in NEW YORK CITY [population: 1 billion] but CHRISTCHURCH [population: 72?? idk help me census] probz just have to take what you can get. So, if you have a luv interest whom is 75% INCREDIBLE, hold on to them tightly. In Christchurch, totz don't always get this luxury:

[Fairground Attraction, never 4get. Pride of Scotland 4ever]

Learn to love/deal with that 25% of awfulness. Come to terms with their interest in musicals/their bad posture/love of sexist jokes or worse, lack of a sense of humor/attachment to bad late 90's, early 2000's hairstylez/ difficulties in letting go of the music they listened to when they were 15. It's hard y'all. I'm still listening to Blood Brothers and this morning had a MOMENT whilst listening to this:

[pretty meaningful song ~wait they don't love you like i love you~]

NEVER [ever] FORGET THE MAGIC/MEANINGFUL/IMPORTANT SOUNDS OF 2003

LOVE getting nostalgic, feels like I am 15 again, doing NCEA/downloading songs one at a time on limewire via 56k dialup. who was the first person you knew to get broadband? I remember going to my friends house in 2k4 and we went on her computer to download some keut songs we saw on C4's INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

[whoa sidenote x 1trillion, remember that show? Camilla was such a fag but also pretty keut. Wonder what she is doing now?I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU CAMILLA]

um yeah anyway, enough of getting sidetracked. But it's so easy. anyway, so my friend had broadband back in 2k4 and it was incredible. For one moment the future was right in front of me. glowing. pulsating. Like Camillas face.

Alright, lets get back to love. Finding love in Christchurch. Lets just stick with the WHO/WHAT/WHERE/WHEN/WHY/HOW:

1. WHO: Anybody with a pulse. Nah, jokes. I think that we have pretty much already touched on this. Christchurch is a small pool of talent so take what you can get and hold on to it. Learn to love the flawz.

2. WHAT: What to look out for: When you are playing the field/on the prowl, you are sure to meet your fair share of jerks/sluts. Don't worry about them breaking your heart when you thought that perhaps you had a good thing going, just be glad that they are out of your life before they really got the chance to do some damage and be even gladder that you are not wasting your time with them so you can focus on the next babe in the pool of talent. sooooo many.

3. WHEN: Anytime is pick-up central. Maybe not in the morning if s/he is an alcoholic, in which case, you probably shouldn't try to tap dat. You don't want a drunk ~honey~ throwing up in your bed. If it does get to the point where they are vomiting in your bed, they're most likely not that into you.

4. WHERE: I don't know about you guys but, tutorials? Pretty romantic. It's a good way to get somebodies name so you can find their facebook. Also a great way to discuss ~hot intellectual topix~ so you can gauge how clever they are. ALSO you can discuss grades and when they beat you be all "Oh you!! You're so smart!!" and give them a gentle tap on the arm. Maybe even take it a bit further, "Wow, since you are so clever maybe you can help me out with the next essay? Come around to my house and I will make you dinner then we can work away ALL NIGHT LONG". If they say no, they're probably not that into you. I mean, would you turn down an offer like that from somebody whose form you were totally warm for? Hell no.

5. WHY: Why does everybody need to find romance? Because the scene needs love. True love will find you in the end.

6. HOW: Alright, this is cheesy. But, just be yourself and don't feel the need to act awkward or shy because somebody in Christchurch is bound to love at least 75% of you. Somebody is waiting for you and the two of you will find each other or maybe you already know one another and only time will tell before romance blossoms! If you are finding that this summer is the summer of heartbreak and rejection, don't get too cut up about it. You'll probably never get over it but you just have to embrace it and build from it. LIVE IT/LEARN IT/LOVE IT.

NO MORE HEARTBREAK AND CRYING INTO WINE IN 2K9.

Two small pieces of advice though:

Don't ever ever ever let anybody reject you twice. Don't let them break your heart then come back because they've been out sniffing around only to find that the single life isn't as sexy and pulsating with loose morals and cum. It's not that they're into you, it's just that they're not so into being alone. stay strong brother/sister.
Hate to act like an awkward parent but STAY SAFE Y'ALL. The scene doesn't need any scene pregnancies or scene STI outbreaks. Where were you when STD became STI? Being a slut is an infection, not a disease.

What am I doing? Oh just trying saving your life

2008-12-22T00:16:00.000-08:00

Yeah so ages ago I asked for everybody to send me all their problems and I promised that I would do my best to help. Well, today is the day! I can't promise it's going to be as good as Jezebels "pot psychology", but hey! we don't need ILLICIT SUBSTANCES to have a good time/give incredible advice to all our brothers and sisters in need. All we need, is love.

(tried to get kitty to help with advice but she is a real bitch. next time i'll have a VERY special guest)

HELPTIME #1

Q. I haven't been to Christchurch for months, but it's almost Christmas and I'm Homeward Bound (Good movie - luv helpless animals) Where are the cool places to hang out? Is C1 still the place to be? Has Andhy Blake scared all the altbros away by asking them to model for him? What about Picasso Cafe? - H8 living in Wellington. There's nowhere that lets me use toilet paper as a napkin.
Yrs Truly, Cam.

PS. Luv it when people spell their name with zany extra letters to let y'all know they're an authentic Christchurch fashion presence/commentator. <3>

Yrs Truly, Cahm.

A. Wow Ca(h)m, I guess you have a lot to catch up on. Andhy Blake doesn't even work at C1 anymore.

side note alert, Andhy Blake, pretty meaningful to the christchurch fashion scene. where would we be without style christchurch? all those boutiques on high street probably wouldn't even exist.

Don't worry, he hasn't strayed far, he now has a snazzy new position at Plume. Guess it gives him a better chance to focus on style christchurch/chat up visiting stylists/designers/fashion schmoozers. Anyway, enough Andhy. More Cahm. I guess c1 is still the cool place to hang out, I mean, just look at yr fave bloggers hanging out having a meaningful/beautiful/happy time there at 10AM on christmas eve;

But seriously, have you been to Antonios? probably the best place in christchurch. small japanese bar owned/operated by a miraculous/eccentric man named Antonio. Highly reccomend! btw it's very tiny so don't move a whole party there, it could be a little awkward. or totally comfortable and cozy. who knows. get to yr yellow pages and hit that shit up.

HELPTIME #2
Q. where is the best place to get keut stockingz in chch? and how do i tell a shy altboy i love him without making him cry/write songs about it? H0PE U KAN HALLP.

A. Hey Gurl. Stockings, okay, don't rely on price as a way to gauge what the best tights are. 2 weeks ago I spent $25 on a pair of stockings (ridiculous I KNOW but I thought that they would heal my broken heart) but they just ended up laddering pretty much as soon as I put them on. Such a shame! I recommend columbine, 70 deniers, from Ballentynes. They're about $15 I think, they are incredible. So incredible that you'll run to the toilets so you can put them on before you leave the store. Now, in regards to your second ~issue~, my main advice is to stalk him extensively to ensure he is not hung up on some other girl (nothing hurts more than rejection! nothing is worse than lying awake at night trying to figure out what she's got that you haven't/where you went wrong) I don't know why you wouldn't want a shy altboy to cry about you/write songs about yr luv. I dream of that. What kind of girl are you? Maybe you could tell him yr feelingz THEN follow it with a really hilarious joke. How could he cry unless they are tears of laughter? You should probably just embrace his emotional ways, gurl, you can't change a man but you can learn to love him just the way he is! or you can just find somebody else whom isn't going to cry at the drop of a hat. maybz hang out somewhere that is a hotbed of masculinity? the woolston working mens club? hope yr not too hung up on age differences eh.

HELPTIME #3
Q.
Whyz is she torturing kitties/pussies? Is Oliver Twist as important to the scene as Gatzby? totes hope you can answer and give me meaning to my life.

A. Wow, um. Intense. She is intense. I think thats the best answer. Oliver Twist, tots as important to the scene as Gatzby. People begging for food ~plz sir may i have some more~ is pretty much just every scene outsider (like me) trying their best to be meaningful. even if it means begging, clawing for that incomparable milk of wonder so that they can suckle on that pap of life (really, really authentic gatzby reference) Scene Princess, i'm sorry that i couldn't have gifted you (even if it is christmas) more meaning to your life. i bet it's already pretty meaningful as it is, living in christchurch will do that to you.

Well, that is all for this week! Keep your questions coming in (simone.jade@gmail.com)

It will be incredible, I promise. Brother/sisterhood is alive and well in Christchurch. ~NEXT WEEK SUPER SPECIAL GUEST AGONY AUNT~

The High Street Project Auction

2008-12-20T19:33:00.000-08:00

Jonathan received threatening text messages on Thursday. We read them at band practice and laughed. No one knew who sent the texts. One of the texts said that Jonathan was an 'ugly' 'meltface', so we assumed it was a girl because--and this may be a sexist generalisation--maybe girls are more likely to think that a scathing insult would be to negatively remark on another individual's physical attractiveness. If it was a boy the text might have read, "fck u, u fckn cnt." We ate our toast and went back to our jams. Our amps fed back with screams affected (though the screams themselves were totally unaffected) through delay and cavernous loops. Richard played drums for the first time.

On Friday we jammed again and packed our amps and samplers and guitars and microphones and drum kit parts into our cars. We arrived. The art auction at High Street Project was warm with human respiration and perspiration. The Fuzzy Fuzzmins were already halfway through their set. Their unison heartache and hopefulness was a pleasant feature of the room. They didn't distract from the art on the walls. We talked about how we felt a bit concerned that our noisy noise might be distracting. So we decided to play near the end of the auction, so as to not disturb the body of the event. Feeling high with anticipation, Richard, Jonathan and I walked out onto Lichfield Street. I jumped onto a parking meter and crouched on the solar panels. Richard and Jonathan talked about where to buy dinner from. We walked towards Dimitri's.

Outside KFC, a group of adolescents sat bored and agitated with their hands in their hoodie pockets. Walking near them we saw our fourth band member, Dave. Dave usually plays the drums for Mount Pleasant, but as we had given him only one day's notice about this gig, instead of practicing he had been committed to turning up to his new job. He was easy to spot in his yellow cardigan and purple shirt.
"Dave," we yelled.
"Youse are faggots," one of the kids outside KFC yelled back.
Dave hid behind a stainless-steel rubbish bin as if he was feigning embarrassment at being found not working by his band members. We feigned aggression and I jumped on his back.
"Nah, you guys are faggots," the kids in dirty hoodies said.
Dave collapsed on to the paved ground and I helped him back up. We walked into Dimitri's and Jonathan and Richard ordered. I didn't feel like spending money on dinner as there were a few snacks, including little sandwiches, provided at High Street Project. Dave preferred the other souvlaki place.
"Plus, Dimitri's a dick," he said once we were outside.
Waiting for Dave's souvlaki, we saw that three police officers were questioning the youths who had told us our ostensible sexual orientation earlier. (Thanks, guys.)
"Maybz they committed more hate crimes," one of us said.
"You guys are fags," the kid said.
"I can suck your penis if you want," Jonathan said.
We were teasing and felt safe and superior now that the police officers were standing by. It was like waving sticks at frothing dogs behind a fence.

Walking back to High Street Project, Dave told me about his day landscaping for a new subdivision, Pegasus Town, on the outskirts of Christchurch.
"One of the guys threatened to attack the bosses and got fired," he said.
"Wow," I said. "Strange."
I jumped onto a tree.
"Had you spoken to that guy before," I said.
"Yeah. Didn't seem like he'd suddenly snap like he did."
We told him about the text messages Jonathan had received the day before. We went into a convenience store and Richard bought a Coke and I bought a banana.
Walking past Java cafe we passed a girl and her boyfriend on a skateboard. I looked at their faces and smiled and they looked at us and kept walking a bit. The two groups took a moment to come to a realization. Then the boyfriend skated back to us and we kept walking. My pulse was ticking faster than usual, even a bit faster than what is usual before a concert.
He skateboarded past Jonathan.
"I heard you wrote shit about me," he said, still skateboarding.
Richard, Dave and I came closer to this boy who had now stopped. He gripped the skateboard by its trucks, his knuckles white and red.
"We write shit about ourselves," Jonathan said.
"Have you read what we wrote," I said to the boy.
The conversation soon got very circular but still a bit exciting as this was most likely the guy who had been sending the threatening text messages. It seemed unlikely that he could fulfil his promising of 'venge[ing]' the 'scenester'.
"If you've got something to say, say it to my face. Don't hide behind a keyboard," he said.
"Why are you laughing," the girl said to Richard.
"I'm not," Richard said. He was just drinking his Coke.
We walked off and the boy seemed like he wanted to talk further and yelled at us as we crossed Lichfield Street.
"You guys are just fuckin' poser scene-kid idiots," he said.

The pavement was bright grey and it we felt wonderful and warm in t-shirts. Summer had arrived and we would soon show other people three of the four jams we had practiced that week. Shannon and his band would later convulse with feeling and spontaneity on drums, bass and guitar. Life had morphed out of the swinging motions of the mild and suburban and into a new and brilliantly emotive new form, like the fragile pieces hanging off the gallery walls. We were changing and friends stood scattered everywhere.

superceleb hits city

2008-12-15T18:20:00.000-08:00

there are ordinary celebs [frase, kit lawrence, shea bermingham, zach doney etc. etc.] but then there are things called supercelebs. these are people who have become famous in the scenesphere for actually doing something interesting and also for spawning imitations.

only four people ever heard a Lawrence & the Arabias album, but all of them started a band-----------------Brian Eno

James Milne is one of these supercelebs. [supercelebs are allowed capitalized initials.] .

. . and word on the street is that James Milne of L awrence & the Arabias is in CHCH. on facebook chat, controversial blogger/prowler, Simone J. Gordon said, 'i saw him at the bus exchange.' turns out Simone's prowling skillz wilted at a crucial moment, as, despite possessing yrgoldenage official camera, the disposable FUNCAM, she failed to document the moment on film.

now we're dying like the ants drowning slowly in a sink of summer dishes-----------L. Arabia

***NOSTALGIA***
remember when James was a 19-year-old guitarist for a sweet fusion hard rock band kinda lykke that other sweet fusion hard rock band, the tadpoles. centre-man mistakenly chose outfit n tryna look half-man/half-tadpole?

###STRANGE ALLEGORICAL LYRICS###

Q:How did you get here?
A:Through the back door.
Q:Can you linger a little longer?----------the tadpoles

###STRANGE ALLEGORICAL LYRICS###

anyway. here's some pix to help you remember about seeing "JAMES'S OLD BAND AT THE JETSET" circa 2k0.
***NOSTALGIA***

XMAS Scene Prez

2008-12-12T17:53:00.000-08:00

MERE SUGGESTIONS:

1. Hand-Cwafted Mix-Tape

Quirky outmoded technology maybz kinda cute for a girl you like.

The best way of procuring a 'lovingly crafted, sequined/colour-paper/glitter/detailed drawing decorated mixtape' is to find a blank cd next to u and drop it off at yr local craftwerk mixtape swap and chances are u'll get something sweet in return. With probz better music than yr collection, too. An ostensibly thoughtful/caring gift and very easy-to-use, and maybz also slightly rebellious against 'the scene establishment' kinda like the 'really free market' in latimer square is slightly rebellious against 'people going about their daily lives'.

SCARCITY IS A MYTH---------------------slogan found at Food! nt Bombs! HQ/the Outotahi Sosical Sentre (OSS).

Q: yrgoldenage, i can't decide my musikal tastes for myself. what musik should i put on my mixtape?
A: plz refer to this post

Q: yrgoldenage, i dnt really attend local gigs that much [scared of scene violence/andrew from tie die die] so can't buy band merch. where do i procure these TOP CDS OF 2K8 from?
A: in ascending level of localaltindieness: galaxy re c ords, penny lane records.

Mixtapes are not-so-meaningful prez for relatives, uncooldadz or secret santa colleagues. most people in the world dnt have alt/local/sweet tastes: so bad chance of colleague lykking yr alt hits........ i mean, why would alt things be called alt if they were mnstrm? isn't that what alt is an abbrvtn for, not-mnstrm?

Hence, motion can never start.---------------------zeno (490-430 bc)

Woah! ~NAME THE CHCH SCENE LOOKALIKE~
Dnt believe in reincarnation/multiple deities/single deities/creationism/evolution/humanism/relativism/deconstructionism, but this spitting imagine may change yrs.

Zeno = Beardy Bass Player [also accordian player for that one song they always start with] From Da Klappies?

2. Flying Nun Vinyl

Priceyness Flying Nun records will show yr cooldad that u really love him n appreciate him for not getting too angry the time the police brought you home as a drunk sixteen-year-old who had been napping on the footpath.
If u are a dole-musiciaNZ (mcphun, wilson, russell [dead C]) there are cheaper options:

Aww.

CHCH . . . was known for producing crap imitations of overseas bands. ---------------Matthew Bannister, Positively George Street

3. Camera

Three options:

. . . 1. Nikon D90

Apparently the same camera that FRAEW aka chris andrews uses for his meaningful scene photos. [instruction manual to robot-dance while taking photos lyke fraew included in box.]

. . . 2. Polaroid QuirkameraFor meaningful bathroom snapshots expressing crazee lonely nostalgic artistickyness. Blu-tac to yr bedroom wall! (gr8 way to get girls to come into yr room at flat partiez---'have u seen my wacky ~polaroid wall~??')

. . . 3. Disposable 'FUN CAM' Camera

Expensive, outmoded, poor-but-no-so-poor-it's-interesting picture quality. But they're really kooky n show yr individuality in a sea of tourists using handy, pocket-sized 'digital cameras'. Can b used for streetflash fashion blogz -- gives yr victims reassurance at yr commitment to high quality flashion commentary. [sidenote alert!: yrgoldenage streetflashion coming soon!]

****OTHER THING****
Tune your internet streamz to RDU this Wednesday, 9PM for XMAS SCENE SPECIAL.
****OTHER THING****

Ne other scenegift ideaz?
Did u ever cry becoz yr gifts didn't reflect yr individualitiez/proved that yr folks didnt <3 u?
Who is yr fave xmas character?

MEANINGFUL ALBUMS OF 2k8

2008-12-10T00:55:00.000-08:00

YRGOLDENAGE hopes not to just raise awareness about important/meaningful scenesters/gossip but also focus on local music, because being alt in CHCH isn't just wearing expensive clothes from H & O/ cheap clothes from FRYMD CLTHNG WRHSE/ going to alt gallery openings/ drinking cask and having good times at alt parties, but its really about being "all about the music". For those impressed with the degree of self importance that this blog has bestowed upon itself, its not really about us, it has always been "about the muzik":

Dont let YGA define yr response to being alt in CHCH, comment on the blog and "get involved" in the scene.

"It’s not as underground as Wellington and not as pop as Auckland."---------------------Ross Herrick, manager of the Dux de Lux

Or make a band/blog/ something meaningful such as a :

clothing swapmeet
mixtape party- h8 the way Craftlovefuck tried to integrate this unsuccessfully
craftfair- <3>
bike adventure- only on pre 1980s bikes- nething else is "affected"
chch architectural history field tripz- "just checking out the Cecil Woods y'all"
kite flying party - "just want my life to be Rushmore"/let Wes Anderson define yr alt life - ages 16- 25.
something else that is alt and keut, but also meaningful. CHCH is full of alt opportunities waiting to be explored, CHOOSE.YR.OWN.ADVENTURE

However it is deeply important at the end of the year that local tastemakers define what music was meaningful/important that year because otherwise you might be kinda lost or something, aimlessly traversing the train-tracks of local musik:

"some lyrics about trains"- every The Eastern Song

"Clearly there is no shortage of talent - just a lack of information and knowledge"--------------------Jenna-Lea Philpott, Creative Industries Project Leader at the CDC

Probz, without the guidance of YGA, you would be just hitting up the new GLXY RCRDS store on Manchester Rd and picking albums randomly. Remember, not all local indie music is really good- "the decievers"/ tho most is.

10. Insurgents - All the Stupid Smiling Faces

And to think that this album almost never came about. The Insurgents played one final show 'for the fans' at the Media Club earlier in 2k8, not evening imagining in their wildest dreams that their performance would be heard by world-wide legend and owner of Failsafe Records, Rob Mayes. Mayes soon signed on the quartet for a big Record Deal. Been luvin' smiling stupidly to this opulent album of 'songz about gurlz'/'saving money'/'being rebellious'. Also, I lyke the backstory to Camille: that song is probz the "Gurl from da North Country " of the CHCH scene.

If you're traveling in the north country fair
Remember me to one who lives there
For she was once a true love of mine
---------------------------Bob Dylan

We were born alone and we will die alone too------------Insurgentz/Mike 'The Streetz' Skinner

9. Clap Clap Riot - TV Knows Better

Glad to see CHCHers 'make good' in 'the big smoke'. Still preferrd when their name was Band Theft Auto. Lyke, remember that review in the Press where scene godmotherz Miriama McDonald/Vicki Anderson congratulated them not so much on their music, but that they were "probably the best-named band of the night".

Probably the best-named band of the night-----------------the press, 2k6

8. The Transistors - Brand New Suit

(too indie for an image)

Luv this one-minute one-track album. 7 inches of rawk 'n' roll but definitely also redefining how society defines the definition of 'album'. Because you don't need long songs to tour with the mint chicks------just whanau in high places.

7. Enright House - Six Acoustic Renditions

Epic, yet fragile. Much like the personality behind this masterwork. Maybz words spoil the purity of his Super-Soaker-reverberated guitars/toilet-paper artwork.

5. Dudley Benson - The Awakening

Meaningful.

4. Bang Bang Echies- Debut E.P

Meaningful and profound music from CHCHs most important band, w/ art by NZ's foremost partypic entreprenuer's GF. Could go into more detailz, but yr heads would explode from how meta it all is.

Dirt in the water!/Dirt in the water!/Dirt in the water!/Dirt in teh water etc. etc.---------------------------The Bang Bang Echiez

3. Pop Hits City- Debut E.P

PHC have always been the most attractive bros/babe on the scene, their live show pretty much consists of pure sexual tension alone. That is sexual tension between me and Laura Lee. I have always felt a certain connection/intimacy with Laura. Maybe it is her eyes, or the way her hair softly falls on her face catching the glaring stage lights of the scene, but there has always been something powerful about the magnetism between Laura and me. It was pure, but here on their debut e.p, it has become something holy. Something religious.

2. TigerTones- Debut Album

The Tiger Tones look boldly into a future where their music redefines what it means to be alt/important in CHCH on the cover to their debut self titled album. Marky Mark (top right) defiantly stares at a future where every alt club/mainstream bar in CHCH/NZ is pumping out his thudding beatz and auto-tuned vocals, pervading everything with a dangerous glow, cascading like neon lights in the Chancery Lane. James T. Tones (top left) is worried, what will NZ make of their music? He grasps Ashlin T. Tones (bottom left), who doesn't really give a fuck. I wouldn't either if I had that amazing crevatte, I would probably just sit around all the time looking at it. Andy T. Tones (bottom right) , is so caught up in the moment and typography that it is all a little overwhelming for him.

I felt overwhelmed, maybe all CHCH is overwhelmed by this album, it is going to take at least another twenty years for its impact to really sink in.

Where were you when The Tiger Tones released their debut album?

1. O LOVEZ- Debut Album

Laura Lee Watson has many talents, just ask Matt Scobie, but songwriting is clearly her number one. There are sometimes hours that go by when I dont listen to this album/think about it, but when those hours pass I am always filled with a deep sense of regret/longing for her meaningful songs/vocal delivery and find myself playing it again and again, letting the buzzsaw synth riffs and "perfect mix of style, substance, tragedy and comedy" deeply impact me/make me never want to leave CHCH. Its hard to pinpoint a favourite song, each one is sufficed with so much meaning/authenticity/good times.

Positives of the album

Good for alt parties with alt babez who are just out for a "good time"
Good for introspective listening where the subtleties of Joe Sampson's guitar parts and Matt Scobie's inventive/powerful drumming combine to create something not solely defined by its influences but is truly authentic/meaningful.
Good for good vibes after purchasing for supporting local artists/being involved in the CHCH scene

Negatives

Not long enough, (only nine tracks, even though the last track "Spacesuits"- incidentally also totally amazing, goes for 7.43 mins- just wanted it to keep going foreva)
No other negatives, it is really rad.

HELP Y'ALL/how am i supposed to pretend that i never want to see you again?

2008-12-09T21:37:00.000-08:00

Now that the mystery has been solved as to the mysterious bloggers are...

"WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE GUYS AND WHY AREN'T THEY WRITING ABOUT ME" - some cutie on ook 2k8

... I want y'all to trust us, no more golden veil of secrecy! when you see us down at c1/authentic gallery opening/contempy lounge, just want y'all to smile and wave. perhaps do a stop and chat too? let us take some piccys of you and let us ask you about yr fashion/fave christchurch band(or supergroup)? but hey, got another request too. as the only girl blogger, i want yr trust! don't want y'all to think i am just some bitch who stands around with a mean judgemental look on my face. bad body language hrh metz! what kindof sisterhood is she trying to promote?

ugh, don't go to her with all yr problems. come to me. i can help you with all your issues, honestly! don't write into that bitch polly gillespie in womans day with all your problems, she doesn't know anything. she doesn't understand the needs of a hipster living in christchurch, she'll never understand how difficult it is! if i open up, will y'all open up too?

issues that have plagued me lately:

just wanting to sleep with each and every member of mount pleasure
gambling addiction
sexual harassment in the workplace (creepy tony, yr not alt enough for my needz)
difficulties in establishing my personal brand in the workplace, hate corporate life. it isn't worth the money. it's totally the worse when some hot hipster babe comes in and they just think i am some boring ho that doesn't "get it" because of my ponytail/pinstripe shirt/pantihose sans keut ladders
having to ride around on a bike that is very new (FUCK KONA AND THEIR INAUTHENTIC BIKES) and not a fixed gear. how long until i have no friends?
wearing the same cardigan 3 days in a row, even after wearing it whilst swimming in the botanical gardens kiddy pool (at night ~ authentic, highly recommend! just don't let any of yr friends take pix because honestly y'all, who looks good after half a cask)
being 20 and still living with my mother, totz norman bates. just wanna live in an apartment on poplar lane

um yeah, so now that you know all of my problems you can:

a) give me some sound advice
b) send me all yr problems/issues/worries about the scene to simone.jade@gmail.com (or since university is over, email me on my webmail! that baby hasn't had any action for weeks! sjg156@canterbury.ac.nz) and i will help you out! if you are a bro then i'm more than certain my fellow bloggers will help you too!

It is just one big melting pot of sister/brotherhood on yrgoldenage. together, we can make things better, real comfortable. don't want any awkward couch sitting. just wanna pose for blurry mirror shots with everybody.

it's okay if nt everybody lykes yr band

2008-12-09T15:04:00.000-08:00

christchurch music/metal fans partied in riccarton on saturday the 6th of december, in spite of a taxi-driver homicide that morning. that stabbing foreshadowed the tension and aggression that would ignite at this party, sending shockwaves and chitter-chatter throughout the scene via facebook convos. on sunday morning a 'little person' nursed a chest sore from blows blown by local indie celeb royalty straight off an eccy comedown. we have three separate reports. not much social commentary today, just quotes. i wasn't there so my semi-pacifist cultural bias may mar the authentic first-hand reports.

[real name not actually "w", just changed to that for no apparent reason.]

They like totz go round giving people the bash who don't agree with their altz world view. Seen it (no pun intended) myself at a recent alt party. The blonde monster lashed out for totz no reason, only cuz someone dissed his turquoise, big rimmed glasses. This is gossip you should be noting. Importz for the scene yo.

------------------James, yrgoldenage comments, December 9, 2008 2:38 PM

SIDENOTE ALERT

Real happy that this alt bro didn't get dissed this weekend, pretty sure he could have also got pretty aggressive to anyone, regardless of their stature in the scene/ height.

"W" said, "I'm going now." He went out.

Dobby said, "***** ****s suck."

"W" came back and pushed Dobby a little. Knocked a few dishes over.

"Fuck you guys," "W" said.

"***** ****s suck, lol," Dobby said

. [actual quote. nvr knew people said lol irl, lolz]

"W" attacked Dobby for the second time.

Yeah, It was a pretty good party.-

----------------------hollan, poster-designer of the GOD BOWS TO MATH gig at OSS this friday.

"W" got a bit agro at this guy becaus

e he called him a cunt and I made the apologize-----------------------------daniel 'doesn't flats with will' hewitt

come on, bros. 'make the apologize' early before the scene explodes.

does this maverick man, dobby, deserve 'da bash'? are topless men in mosh pits kinda annoying/smelly? where were you when neil robinson won the rockfest?

****BONUS SCENE AGGRESSION****:

Alex said...: RUfffIANS are kuntz and I seriously hope they get cancer.*

-a
September 23, 2008 11:10 PM

[hope the asterisk means that he doesn't actually seriously hope cancer, 'cause that would be a real mean thing to wish upon a person, especially li'l ruffz. maybz asterisks make death threats okay/legal loophole.]
***BONUS SCENE AGGRESSION****

male lolitas of the CHCH scene

2008-12-08T22:22:00.000-08:00

hey, i don't know know if you guyz know/care about these young kidz called " joe from 1993"/"alex the owl" (pretty much the same person?), pretty sure they has been comprehensively covered by other important local blogs. Maybz writing about them on this blog gives them more a little more validity (maybz)/more exposure (definitely) or something, but yeah, whatever alternative world these kids occupies is pretty surreal.

Its pretty hard to gauge their "impact" on the scene as they can't get into the most meaningful local gigs= DA KLAPPIEZ, but one is at least memorable by sight for me and I have happy memories of trying to drown out his conversation with alt beatz/hearing him talking about hardcore muzik with some mainstream broz on the 3 Sumner/ seeing him getting picked up by his mum after an important Heath Ledger film in Sumner.

I don't actually know if this kid is alextheowl, or joefrom1993,

"not-not straight enough to know"- Simone J. Gordon

I just guessed. I think I might be wrong, but lil pic of Eamonn too touching to not post, that jumper is the stuff American Christmas movies/sexual fantasies are made of.

~SIDENOTE ALERT~ Are both of these alt-teens trying to be characters from the Home Alone Franchise?

Eamonn, maybz a cross between the I-talian and Jewish villains of "Home Alone 2. Lost in New York." (Did you guyz ever notice the way that both of them are heavily stereotyped depictions of ethnic minorities of New York, in comparison with the All American Culkin? Did it have an important formative influence on you?)

Thinking back, is that film really weird or what? Two older men trying to get their hands all over Macaulay Culkin? Trapping him in a house? No wonder Macauly never achieved anything post Home Alone, apart from a meaningful friendship with Michael Jackson and getting busted for marijuana possession in 2k7. You would too, if it happened to you.

That kid (striking resemblance to Alex/Joe) is probz now as washed up as Culkin. Is the Home Alone Franchise the worst thing to ever happen to child actors?

Kinda reminds me of Gatsby, (Thanks Simone for making Gatsby the most important book in the CHCH Scene)

"They were careless people, they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made" F.Scott Fitzgerald=Totz Meaningful

Sorry for getting sidetracked, Home Alone does that to you.

Anyway these kidz are pretty "entry level", seen (scene?) that one at a few meaningful local AA gigz/wearing important local bandz tees (are B!B!E! 2k8 Salmon Teeshirts from Craftlovefuck going to be really meaningful in twenty yearz "Yeah I was there when The Eche had a female singer, NVR FRGT Y'ALL") I guess they are just enjoying going out and living the underage dream of checking out bands and trying to define their own unique response to being alternative in CHCH.

I think maybz its more meaningful to make authentic muzik/craft art than blog posts, but then defining yr own alt scene based on youtube vids is clearly another important approach, you know, for the kidz increasingly disenchanted by bandz that are too cool for the all ages scene. Sometimes the enright house just isn't cool/meaningful enough, pretty sure the kids are spending all their time watching the "Pop Eats Pop" video on repeat, hoping that The Tiger Tones will play an all ages show.

BTW How come there aren't 18,000 ppl at The Tiger Tones gigs? If only Youtube was real life.

This kid is so huge its almost unbelievable, 3,976 subscribers (just for context, yrgoldenage had at our pinnacle two weeks ago, when our posts were more controversial/authentic, two subscribers) The Joefrom1993 is like ross "singer/model" heath's level of hotness big. He is OOK big, he even has his own forum. Don't know about Alex the Owl, probz just coasting on the success of his more authentic bff= like Warblez coasting off red panda executive links.

But unravelling the success of a young alt grappling with his sexuality/ being alt in chch, reveals some secrets probz best left unrevealed. Lets just say I had never, and definitely will never ever again, go on this website Milk Boys.

I was going to write a witty response or something, but its hard to type when you are this frightened. This is like when Da Klappies wanted to Ban-yo me in the face, except my whole skin is crawling. There are lots of weird blogs on the internet like this, filled with dudes/and maybz babez who love teenage boyz.

This is a small sample of the posts. This is just like ordinary guyz writing about their love of this kid. But it gets worse.

Unedited and directly quoted from Milk Boyz
Uncle Sidney says:
November 6th, 2008 at 04:07

"As I said on my blog. This Joe is just what he looks like. An immature playful little boy. Not a very nice boy either.

Is everyone so blinded by the fact that this is a male lolita that they’ll put up with ‘anything’ he does. Including leading us to believe he was in mortal danger for days. Then pretending that nothing happened. Now he gives you soft porn, and you drink it up, and wait for more.

We’ve all been, and are being played with. We’re being had by a child.

Hey I’m a boylover. I’ve seen this before.

This is not a good thing for either him or us."

I dont want to make a moral judgement here, I am inclined to reserve all judgements, its a matter of infinite hope. But I feel a little queasy. This whole saga takes a ridiculous personal turn, when a German dude facebooked me for weeks trying to get in contact with this guy.

You can share in meaningful conversations where he opens up to you about his appreciation of gay people. It was a crazy week of my life. Still dont really like going on facebook, just in case he asks me about my search for a penfriend for him. He is really desperate for one. And fifteen year old alt-teens who make confusing video blogs. I guess I just dont "get it"

Nu Bands 4 2k9

2008-12-08T19:45:00.000-08:00

The golden age is before us, not behind us. -------------sallust, [86-34 bc]

bros.

got a virtual event invitation to a new year's gig and felt a range of feelings.

the invitation had crazee TYPOGRAPHY in the title. and a pentasyllabic word. all matched with a colourful space snapshot. super. but i felt sort of sad when i saw the bands. the bands are fine, but (maybz also due to overexposure on local blogz) i don't like seeing bands live more than once. need fresh music to talk about and 'get into before everyone else gets into them'. this event promoter shoulda talked to jamey "the phantom" from the undercurrentz.

'There’s so much culture here that hasn’t been embraced yet,' adds Jamey. 'You can make any move in Christchurch. There’s a lot of different possibilities and different worlds, just depending on which tracks you run.' ---------- quote taken from RDU's resident heartbreakers, Guitar Media. [underline added for stirring emphasis.]

sad to see so much culture not being embraced. sprawling traintracks running across the parallel worlds in christchurch. steam that scene train, sir! [woah! crazee dense imagery, jamey.]

so we've collated hot new bands that need a [t/h]ug, a kiss and a support slot at the dux. this is a serious guide for promotors, bands, bar owners, and grass-roots enthusiasts.

NU BANDS FOR 2K9:

Rob's Ace Pantsless Exploratary Drumming [raped]

rob, a former member of nu-no-wave 'band', not so experimental, describes his new sounds as, "OMG LOL, awesome material. thanks!"
[i'm not making this up:]can't wait for this awesome material. maybz pina c olada should look into getting raped on their register. hot nu sounds, y'all.

Le Squirrelles

woah! it's the girl who used to be in the bang bang echiez back when they had exclamation marks in their name. glad she's found musical meaning in her life. hope she can make it to ny one day too. maybz she should tell the mandolin player to clothe himself in the band's defined image. from le squirrels' myspace:

Le Squirrelles play french pop. Members of the band are sometimes misleadingly referred to as "scaly-tailed flying squirrels" although their sound is not closely related to the true Le Squirrelles.

The Scaly-Tailed Flying Squirrels

emma's punk side-project.
i bet you bros already knew that punk actually means prostitute.

My lord, she may be a punk; for many of them are neither maid, widow, nor wife.----------------will "golden opinions" shakespeare, 1604, measure for measure, v.i.

just tryin strugggling to find a subgenre/culture that reflects my inner self, y'all.

nvr forget cute grl singer of the bang bang echiez.

that's the great thing about having bands split/kick out members etc., it allows super offshoots of old bands to form. [PHC anyone? anyone?]
we've heard the word that the next band from the bang bang echiez alumni will feature perry and dave coffey of the insurgentz.

The Good Guys

they've had enough of debauchery/partying/drawing penises on one another's faces. their past band members have all gone off to see the world. time to knuckle down and write some fresh tunes about that vibrant feeling you get when you make a girl a mix CD or have afternoon tea with your grandmother!

'cuz you don't need to be bad to be bad.
Smokez

dunno if these guys play musical instruments. maybz just an a capella body percussion of wheezing and coughs. so cool tho. impressed me with their inside-smoking. isn't that illegal now?

take it easy over summer, y'all, and give the up-and-comers a break. they might be the scene's new beacon of hope.

miss u

2008-12-07T22:13:00.001-08:00

i don't know if you guys got the facebook event invitation or anything (don't worry, even i was rejected at first, by a fellow controversial blogger and everything)

so yes, anyway, last friday there was this really great gig on at the wunderbar, filled with local talent and . shes pretty scary y'all, at one point i couldn't find my wallet and was damn sure that she had stolen it from my bag while i was chatting up various members of mount plez. found it later though, sorry . i don't usually go to gigs for the music. this time was no exception. i could taste the taste of life at its most tender. yum. glad the exes all made it. luv people being able to just 'be friends' and maybe get a dry 'kiss on the cheek' at the end of the night, like 'friends'.

"best friends/for a while/she won't see him/he won't smile" - Mount Pleasant

maybz a bit of missing the good timez and lite desire but still happy to see yr boy/girl redefining themselves as their own person. glad there was no awkward hookups. the only lusty moments of the nite was musical adultery/lauralee 'making it' with the mic. (sidenote alert: lauralee: hot/not babe? not not-straight enough to know).

(This photo is pretty meaningful, who knows what secrets are unravelling behind those beautiful eyes, probably hot ones involving matt scoobie scobes - still can't believe they used to date y'all)

relationships are like o'lovelys records: kinda okay at first, but quickly disintegrate into dull ("but tight!") insipidity. maybz relationships are not really like o'lovelys records, but o'lovelys records are still like o'lovelys records. (still waiting for that third chord) [have you ever noticed how every o'lovelys/phc song only has two chords?] but nah, they're still pretty good aye, like, that lauralee chick is real nice and has a lot of drive to 'make[ing] it' in the music industry. she may be on good morning one day and maybz even get to have her stage name in capitals. (heard she trained with hayley westenra).

Sorry everyone, lets get back on track.

Breakups of late (all in bands on friday):

darian + woah nellie

probably the saddest breakup of the year. darian, what a tool. look at him flaunting his smooth moves/skin at the other hot event of the weekend (yrgoldenageIRL/exclusive). what look is he actually going for here? is he trying to like, challenge will macfarlane as our scenez resident

i-talian ?

sigh~

simone j. gordon+ richy marks

tough times y'all. at least i am just embracing my new found freedom by being "on the prowl" 24/7 (not actually, thanks anyway though)

jon + rosa,

just hoping for another emotional post on his blog y'all.

will + jade

(not sure if they have broken up yet, whats with CHCH hipsters dating younger babes, its pretty much lolita (lolzlita?)

fuzzmins

hope they can still make beautiful muzik ala PIGOUT/The Brunettes (Nick Heart is pretty sexy y'all), even though the relationship is dead, keep the muzik alive.

are there any couples left in christchurch? is it going to turn into some amazing scene orgy where everyone is fucking each other. thats what orgy means, like lots of people fucking each other in a room. cum and loose morals scattered all over somebody's bedroom.

talking of loose morals and cum everywhere,

just hope ashlin and james stay together, if they break up the scene might like self implode because everyone will be too busy fucking each other at their places.

All this thinking about relationships has made me reappraise my earlier analogy about relationships, maybz they arent like the olovez debut album (tho it still is pretty shit), maybz they are like CALOHUM - lots of shit bandz, but you have to at least sift through the shitty bands from the golden ones

Once you find it, hold onto that elusive dream.

"He wanted to recover something, some idea of himself perhaps, that had gone into loving Daisy. His life had been confused and disordered since then, but if he could once return to a certain starting place and go over it all slowly, he could find out what that thing was." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

TOTZ AUTHENTIC "GATZ"BY REFERENCE. have you read the great gatsby? it pretty much is the CHCH scene, except with more money and more scene deaths.

READ IT>>LOVE IT>>LIVE IT

scaryness

2008-12-07T00:16:00.000-08:00

hey, so its been like a really scary couple of weeks everyone. its been like that scene [like movie scene, not alt muzik scene lolz] in that movie "the shining", except like jack nicholson didn't actually come around to my house with an axe

and i guess I am not a woman or anything. But in its own way, commenting threatening messages on other ppls barely read blogs, is pretty much the same. Did you guyz see this on starlifter.tv?

(probz not aye, dont read aye, "waaay hard to read" - Mr. Matthew McD.I.C.K 2k8 )

Theres this comment by some local dude who didn't like the blog at all. i don't even know who this guy is, must be a really big fan of local scene celebrity eamonn or sumthing?

ed frampton
November 26, 2008 at 5:01 am

"im going to assault you with a weapon when i find out the name on your birth certificate,ed frampton"

This was pretty scary y'all, i think he really doesn't like me or something or the blog, i just dont know aye. This is nothing on what happened on da Mt Plez myspace.

This is a lil pic of a CHCH band called The Klap, i don't know if you guyz know them? Have you seen this video before they had "defined their personal brand",

That video is probably the best use of "Pirate Island Mini Golf" in any local scene muzik video - ( have you played that course?the hole in the cave with the hill is pretty impossible lolz) I dont know about you guyz but I kinda felt like they actually were pirates or sumthing. The way they have like raided their way onto the CHCH muzik scene, and into my heart with their sense of humour and banjo threats= pretty meaningful/important. Where were you when Da Klap won RounDUp2k8? How did you feel? Were you sharing "Poet Ross's" joy and happiness at being showered in coloured paper?

FLASHBACK y'all

Is being showered by coloured paper an initiation ritual for Christchurch Royalty? Or is it just a reflection of the colourful personalities that make up the CHCH scene? I dont know aye, what do you guyz think?

SORRY BOUT GETTING SIDETRACKED!!!

this is a public message DA KLAPPIEZ sent to the MT PLEZ myspace:

1 Dec 2008 11:00 p.m. (Day before my bday y'all, i consider it like an early bday present from my fav. band in chch)

"looking forward to your authentically emotche show on friday. we're taking the vans out with the tig t's. who the fuck is this guy is gonna banj yo in the face... awesome!"

woah, intense y'all. I just wanted to raise awareness about important local bandz, and in return get sweet puns/threats? like "banj yo in the face" and vague attempts at imitation of HRO from the Klap - "...authentically", "emotche" - kinda confused at what this means aye, "...awesome"?

But yeah, brave jokes aside, feeling kinda worried y'all. Is my life going to end like a Guy Ritchie film/notable Klap Video ?

Are they going to bury me (in either backwards or fowards motion) in a disused lot in Woolston ? Am I "not going to be getting younger" © DA KLAPPIES 2008?

Just wonderin, Is that song maybe a reflection of the timeless quality of their music? Or is it maybz more about that they are growing up and are above petty scene disputes with minor scenesters who write satirical blogs about their band? Just want answers y'all)

Lets just say, I haven't been in cartel for a while. Kinda missing the place you know. They do these really amazing g & ts with cucumber, its also a great place for young romance on the scene. All i want in life is romance, and da klappies to release their debut album.