what i thought was a satirically cynical, new-sincerity turn of prose turned out to be one of our most controversial posts in recent months. (though not as controversial as the recent showdown between ross and scene poster-designer/capitalism-h8er, jared davidson.) i got a txt which said:
'id like to speak with you' - some guy
we were really flattered when local critic/poet/university-of-canterbury-registry-admin-guy, ross brighton, offered to critique our work. ross has an english degree; i don't even have a degree. he's practically trained in analysing stuff like this.
(note the avante-garde rejection of traditional spelling and grammar conventions):
ross: 1 youre asking too much, 2 missing the point (far more kurt vonnegut , it's called "goodby [sic] blue monday and full of his drawings for chrissake)than (i would say pastiche of a pastiche) speakeasy - the whole concept is tongue in cheek - you're taking this shit far too seriously. and it's a business not a vanity project- the idea is to get people to come and spend money, rather than have some elitist hideaway for a select creww [sic] - "and only serve gritty moonshine and play real blues—real blues, mind you: none of this 12-bar covers shit. grimy delta blues and a big black door with a big black doorman who won't let anyone in. yeah, that's a real speakeasy" - how the fuck do you make enough money to pay rent doing that shit?
the review is not a review is [sic] a conceptual critique, reported bitching about said concept, nothing to do with the bar realy [sic] at all, just saying poeples [sic] ideas are shit without looking at them properly. i think at l;east [sic]
darian: thanks for reading the blog. i agree it's not a review really. not at all. maybe i'd call it 'my thoughts when i walked into a bar to go to the toilet'.
i like goodbye blue monday. i think everyone involved has done their best to make a lovely venue. i look forward to seeing bands there.
i was there for about two minutes in total. One minute and forty-five seconds of this was spent in the toilet. so i wrote about fifteen seconds. so of course it was always going to be unbalanced, polemic and silly. i didn't even know what the bar was called when i wrote the post. i don't write with much discretion. usually if i think something i write it.
when i walked into goodbye blue monday for the first time, i didn't know anybody. when i walk into bars and don't know anybody i feel like holden caulfield and i like to use the word 'phoney'. i like the word phoney.
WHY I LIKE THE WORD PHONEY:
1. it sounds funny and outdated
2. i can pretend i'm holden caulfield and jerk off to 'fetishising the outsider'
3. it's a synonym for 'not real'.
goodbye blue monday is 'not a real' speakeasy. i think that's a true statement. it has emotive connotations and of course it can't be a real speakeasy because we'd have to ban alcohol for that to happen and i think everyone who reads me accusing goodbye blue monday as being 'phoney' knows that i know that of course goodbye blue monday is 'not real' and this is a really silly and unproductive adjective but in the context of a silly and unproductive website it makes sense
i think you are giving us huge and unprecedented compliment to think that we kid ourselves that we are 'looking at' ideas 'properly'.
ross: people say crazy shit and take themselves very seriously, especially on the net.
I'M SORRY GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY - embattled blogger darian james' new-new-sincerity statement issued following local intellectual ross brighton's incisive analysis